


Undercover Sting

by Skylark62



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-02 10:53:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21160487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark62/pseuds/Skylark62
Summary: Prominent men are being blackmailed for hidden relationships and forced out of their jobs by an unscrupulous gang. The only way for SVU to catch them is to set a sting, and as they find out ADAs are being targeted, Rafael Barba is pressured into a pretend relationship with Sonny Carisi. This involves them eating much closer and more intimate than they have been before, and changes everything for both of them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in Season 18, just when Barba is finishing his suspension, so between episodes 'Know it All" and 'The Newsroom'. 
> 
> I only write 'happy ever after' fics, so no matter how much I bash them, it'll turn out right in the end. 
> 
> Kudos and comments feed the plot bunnies.

Prologue

Judge David Barnett sighed as he stared out of his office window at the rain pouring in sheets and running down in rivulets down the glass. The weather matched his mood. He turned away and ran his eyes over the room. Now there were no awards hung up on the walls, no photo frames on his desk, and no papers waiting for him to read or sign. Just a couple of boxes by the door ready to be taken out when he left. He would miss this office, his job. But he felt he had no choice other than the one he was making. His personal life had to come first, the love he felt for his partner more important than his career. He opened his phone and pressed the icon on the screen that sent his reply to the blackmailers who in a few short weeks had changed his life irrevocably. He paused, and then brought up the phone app and picked the contact he wanted; Lt Olivia Benson. He may be giving in to the men’s demands, but he was going to make sure someone out there knew about them and stopped them, hopefully before they ruined someone else’s life.

***

Lt Olivia Benson looked over the cork board hanging on the wall of the bullpen. They weren’t making much progress. Judge Barnett hadn’t known enough about his blackmailers to be able to provide much information, but they were working the leads they had. He had received a packet of photos at his office, with no return address. The photos were of him and his partner in intimate poses, some fully clothed and others not. The message included was typed and to the point, telling him he must give them $5000 of cash or the photos would be made public, and giving a cell number to reply by. After the man agreed to pay up, a meet was arranged. But even after they had their money, they didn’t leave their victim alone, but followed up with the demand that he resign his job.

The judge had given in to the blackmail, not because he was concerned about his career; the justice system had anti-discrimination policies in place and there was no problem with him being outed as gay, but the same could not be said about his partner. Richard Cooley worked in a high tech firm which did classified government work, and any suggestion of blackmail would cause his security clearance to be revoked, which he needed for his job. As the judge had been considering early retirement within the next year anyway, he gave in to the demands rather than causes problems for Richard.

The cell number was to a burner, which didn’t lead anywhere, and the photos were obviously taken from the building opposite the apartment block facing David’s home, but there was no way to tell from which office it was taken. As the building was empty at night without CCTV, identifying the person who took the photos wasn’t going to happen. They were printed on generic paper; the parcel had been posted at a main post office although they were running the fingerprints they had found on the envelope. Their best only hope was a small amount of saliva which was on the seal, which they hoped would match a known criminal.

“Lieu,” said Carisi, interrupting her musings. She turned to face him.

“I’ve been looking into other unexpected resignations in the last 6 months of government officials, like you asked, and found 3 others. James Connolly of the FBI was an assistant director who resigned last month, and 2 months ago Simon Patterson, also FBI, took early retirement. 4 months ago, it was Manuel Munoz, another FBI agent. All of them gave generic reasons for leaving, and if they were gay, they weren’t out. Of course, it may not be connected, but all 3 were pretty high profile and in positions to change policy within the FBI.” 

Olivia nodded. “Thanks, Carisi. I suggest we go interview them; see if they did leave due to being blackmailed. Set up interviews with them will you please?”

***

Two hours later they were sat in the study of James Connolly, sipping from cups of coffee his wife had brought in for them. Carisi waited for Liv to speak, knowing it was a delicate subject and that it would come better from her than him.

“I really am not sure what this visit is about, Lieutenant Benson. I left the FBI some time ago and am not involved in any criminal activity I am aware of, so I don’t know how I can help you,” James Connolly said.

“We have been made aware of criminals who are actively targeting men in power in New York, and blackmailing them initially for money, and then when they pay, by a demand to resign from their positions. As part of that investigation we are checking all men fitting that description who have recently left their jobs to see if they are connected. Of course, any information would be confidential. We don’t want to reveal any secrets the blackmailers may have uncovered, we just want to stop them before they can ruin anyone else’s career. As you said, you left the FBI and from what we have heard, your resignation was unexpected. Can I ask if you were targeted and forced to resign?”

Carisi noticed the man’s body language reflect his tension and he avoided eye contact with them as Liv spoke. His eyes darted around the room as if looking for a way to escape and cleared his throat before answering.

“I really don’t want to get involved. I’ve left and my wife and I are enjoying time together now. I don’t want my life disrupting any more than it has been already,” he said in a low voice, still not looking at either detective.

Liv continued in a supportive voice. “I understand and I have no plans to do that. But we are trying to find out what the motivation for these blackmailers is, and why they are picking the targets they are. It’s not money, otherwise they would be asking for more, but getting these men out of their jobs. This is a first step to identifying them or potential future targets. If we can figure out what their aim is, it will help us enormously. Can you at least confirm if you were targeted?”

There was a long pause while James Connolly fidgeted. Eventually he answered. “Yes, I was.”

“Thank you. Do you have any idea why you attracted their attention, or what they hoped to gain by you leaving your position?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was working on a review of LGBT policies with a view to changing legislation so that may have been the reason, but I really can’t say.”

Lt Benson finally managed to make eye contact with the uncomfortable man. “One of the targets we have identified was a closeted gay man, who was being blackmailed for that reason. He was known to have been supportive of gay rights and suspects that was the reason he was blackmailed to leave his job. Where on this subject do you stand?”

He stood up and started pacing behind his desk. “I’ve always been in favor of anti-discrimination and any policies that include protection for alternative lifestyles including LGBT rights. My views on that have never been a secret, so it is possible that is the reason.” He didn’t say anything further and the silence became uncomfortable.

Liv glanced at Carisi and then stood up, with the younger detective following her lead. “Thank you, Mr. Connolly, for your time. If you can think of any other information that would help us with our enquiry, then please do contact me.” She passed over her business card which he took. 

She was just about to open the door when he spoke quietly. “You haven’t asked me how they blackmailed me.”

She turned back to face him. “No. It would be useful to know though, as it would give us an idea of the scope of their investigation. For example, if they are investigating computer or financial records, or just following their targets.”

He hesitated again before speaking quietly; checking first to make sure the door was still closed. “I received photos of myself when I had met up with someone I shouldn’t have been with. The photos were of an intimate nature. I destroyed them.” He blushed slightly and didn’t meet their eyes, appearing fixated on the carpet.

Liv nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Connolly. That helps us a lot.” She led them out without anything further being said.

By the end of the day they had managed to confirm similar stories with the other 2 men. All had been forced out of their jobs due to being photographed in compromising positions, and all had been in positions to be influential on future changes in LGBT rights. They had a motive and a method of blackmail. They were finally getting somewhere.

***

There was good news the next day too; the saliva had been extracted and was a match for DNA on file already. Jeremy Flynn had a long criminal record but nothing suggested he would be one of the ringleaders. Fin and Amanda brought him in quietly, as they didn’t want to alert the people he was working for.

Jeremy slouched at the table in the interrogation room and appeared quite relaxed. Amanda sat down opposite him while Finn stood by the window behind him.

“You’ve been caught Jeremy. Sending photos to a Judge to blackmail him. It’s not a good idea to lick the envelope to seal it when doing something criminal. Better to spend a couple more bucks and buy the envelopes which self-seal. The DNA match is conclusive, and if we only have you, you go down for the whole crime. Extortion, blackmail… that’s a lot of years, and it’s your third strike which means you get life.”

He shrugged his shoulder. “A bit of spit ain’t enough to put me away. I posted something for a friend. I had no idea what it was or what he was doing. I just did him a favor.”

Fin responded. “That’s bullshit Jeremy. Plenty of people have been put away with less evidence. You’ve targeted a Judge. How do you think the criminal justice system will treat you now? You’ve targeted their own. They’ll make you pay. Plus, a bit of spit contains plenty of DNA and juries love the science. As soon as they hear that it could be no-one else but you, they will lock you up and throw away the key. Your only chance is to help us out. Give us the people you’re working for and we’ll reduce the charges. Maybe even drop them if you work as an informant and help us catch them.”

Jeremy hesitated for a moment before replying, this time looking at Amanda. “What would you want me to do? If these men find out they will kill me.”

Amanda smiled at him encouragingly. “We can protect you if you help us. Can you start by at least telling us what you do for them?”

He shrugged. “Whatever they ask me to do. It’s mainly admin – posting stuff and passing on messages. I don’t take the photos or have any contact with the marks they are going for.”

She nodded at him. “That’s helpful Jeremy. So, you do get chance to see the photos and know who the men are targeting?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

“Can you tell us what the process is and who they are currently looking at?”

Jeremy thought for a minute. “They have a few people followed and then photos taken if any of the marks does something they could use to blackmail them with. I sort of go between the men doing the following and the men running the operation. They are looking at the people in the courts – recently judges, now ADAs, those sorts of people.”

“What is their aim in doing this?” Amanda asked.

“We’re loyal Americans. We want to stop our country being taken over by immigrants, gays, lesbians and all those other letters people use now. They are taking over with their anti-discrimination laws and positive discrimination. A straight white America-born man can’t get a decent break the way things are going. It’s time to even things up a bit and put them back in their place if they won’t shut up and go away to another country.”

Fin made eye contact with Amanda and nodded. He had purposely stayed behind Jeremy for this interview, guessing that Flynn was racist and prejudiced like the people he worked for.

Amanda snorted. “So not content to target the LGBTQ+ community, you also hate immigrants. I bet you don’t like blacks, Latinos or women either, do you?”

He made a point of leering at her, lingering on her breasts. “Oh, I like women, as long as they know their place.”

Fin decided to intercede, knowing his partner’s temper.

“Yeah, I bet you’d love all us non-white and non-straight people to just go away wouldn’t you? Well it’s not going to happen. Your bosses are going down for what they’ve done, and if you play nice with us, you may be able to wriggle out of it without being dragged down too. But watch your tone and don’t piss me off in the process or I’ll be happy to send you to Rikers for the rest of your life. Wait here and think about your options while we check with the Lieutenant.”

Both detectives left the room, leaving Jeremy slumped in his chair, with his head in his hands.

***

“What do you think Liv?” Fin asked her as they joined her and Carisi in the outer room.

“I think I need to go and have a chat with the DA. They are escalating their timescale and we’re no-where near stopping them yet. The only way we are going to be able to catch these men with solid proof is while they are in the act of blackmailing someone. We could maybe catch some of the photographers but without them actually having direct contact with the men in charge, we can’t tie them to the crime easily. Our best bet is when the cash is dropped off, but in order to do that, we need to know when and where in advance. I don’t fancy our chances of getting one of the men being blackmailed to contact us in advance unless we can either set up a sting or make sure all the potential targets are warned. The more people who know we’re onto this the less chance of it working though. I’ll go and talk to Jack McCoy and see what he thinks. Let Jeremy go but make it clear he’s working for us now and we’ll be in touch with him.”

“On it Lieu,” Carisi said, before heading into the interrogation room and roughly pulling Jeremy to his feet and leading him out.

***

Liv told Jack McCoy what they had found out, and that ADAs were currently the target. He sighed heavily.

“Great. I agree with you that the best option is setting up a sting, and warning the rest of the ADAs that they need to keep their noses clean. I can do that quietly and I’m sure anyone who has something to hide will be very keen to make sure they aren’t the next target. Do you have any suggestions for the sting?”

Liv hesitated. “It needs to be an ADA who has some influence in LGBT cases as those are the ones that are being targeted.

He nodded. “That’s what I was thinking. Well the obvious choice is Rafael Barba and considering he is due back next week from his suspension, he should be in a helpful frame of mind or at the least want to get back on my good side.”

“He won’t like it,” Liv commented.

Jack smiled. “I know, but I’m not planning on giving him much choice in the matter. Does he know anything about this case?”

Liv shook her head. “No. he was on suspension when we first caught it and I haven’t spoken to him for a few weeks.”

“Fine. For the sting we need him to be caught in a compromising position with someone he shouldn’t be. I can see two obvious choices.”

Liv raised her eyebrows but didn’t comment, knowing he would continue and doubting she would like it.

“If he was caught with you, that would put him in a difficult situation as he wouldn’t have disclosed a relationship with you, but the blackmailers may not be in a position to know if that paperwork was in place or not. The other option would be one of your male detectives. Still compromising, but more likely to get their attention and make them act, knowing their views about gays.”

She sighed. “I will do it if necessary. But if I was involved it would mean the case needed to be run by someone else, probably another squad. I agree that a male partner would be more inflammatory, so I think that’s the better option. But I am not sure either Carisi or Barba would go for it.”

Jack grinned. “You’re not considering Fin?”

Liv laughed. “That definitely wouldn’t work. We both know that even though this is meant to be a secret relationship, people will find out about it, so it needs to be relatively convincing. Carisi would be best considering the time they have spent together while he was completing his law degree, and also his attitude towards Barba when he started. But it’s a lot to expect him to do. Yes, he has gone undercover before, but as far as I know he is straight, so putting him undercover as a gay man when we know they are going to have to be caught in a compromising position is a bit much to ask. I don’t want him to feel he has to say yes to it because I’m his boss.”

The DA nodded. “Well make it clear it’s optional and he can say no. If he isn’t comfortable then we may have to consider you instead, but make sure he knows we have an alternative plan.” He hesitated. “I notice you’re not protesting that Rafael is straight and asking him to go undercover as gay is too much.”

Liv colored and dropped her gaze, but didn’t immediately respond. It wasn’t like her to be so careless. The subject of sexuality had been discussed between them one night at Forlini’s when they had had a few drinks too many. 

Jack smiled at her. “Don’t worry Liv, I already knew he was gay or at least mostly gay. You haven’t let the cat out of the bag. I make it policy to know as much as I can about the ADAs I hire.” He stood up and Liv did the same, realizing the discussion was over.

“I’ll talk to the other ADAs this afternoon, and you talk to Detective Carisi. I suggest you come back here 9am on Monday morning and we can tackle Rafael together.” Jack showed her out of his office and Liv made her way back to the precinct slowly, thinking about the best way to approach the subject.

*** 

Liv gathered the detectives together in her office so as to make sure they weren’t overheard. She informed them all that the DA was going to warn his ADAs and that they were going to set up a sting operation, with Barba being the bait. She said there were a few ideas of who could be set up with Barba but she was opening it up to volunteers, as she didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable or pressured into going undercover. She told them they had time to think about it over the weekend and let her know if they were willing to take part. Then she dismissed them.

Fin hesitated as the other two detectives left. “You know I would be a bad match for Barba don’t you? No-one would believe it. Amanda’s not much better; they grate too much. It should be Carisi.”

Liv sighed. “Yes, I know that, but I don’t want him to feel forced into it. The other idea Jack came up with is me. I told him I’ll do it if necessary, but I wouldn’t be able to do that as well as lead this case. So, you may need to step up, or it may be passed to another squad to run if it comes to that.”

He grinned. “You and Barba. Yeah, I could see that, and if it was found out, it’d really get the rumor mill working overtime. Some people think you’re too close and may be involved already, so after the case is finished it may be difficult to convince people it was an act.”

Liv leaned back in her chair and glared at him. “Thanks Fin, that’s just what I wanted to hear. Let’s hope that’s not necessary. But I need you to go out there and make sure Carisi has the chance to decide on his own, without Rollins or you pushing him into it.”

“Okay Liv. Message received. Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you Monday.”

“You too, Fin.”

*** 

The door had no sooner shut when it opened again and Carisi popped his head into the room. “Lieu, can I have a word?”

Liv smiled at him, feeling hopeful. “Of course, Carisi. What can I do for you?”

“I’ll do it; go undercover I mean, on the sting.” He wasn’t looking at her and she noticed he was rocking slightly as his weight moved from one foot to another.

“Are you sure, as you don’t seem comfortable? There is no pressure to do this. No-one will think any less of you if you don’t want to do it.”

He flopped down in the seat in front of her desk and made eye contact finally. “Yeah, I know. But I am the obvious person to use. I’ve spent more time with Barba due to my legal studies, and half the people here think I had a crush on him, so it would be easy for them to believe that I would be interested in him. I can do this Lieutenant, I know I can.”

She smiled at him. “I have no doubt about that. You’ve shown you can work undercover before. But this is slightly different. They need to get photos worthy of blackmailing Barba with before it will work. I know you can act well enough but this is more personal and with someone you work with regularly. I don’t want it to cause you a problem later, or any issues with you working with Barba after this case is over.”

Carisi blushed slightly. “I don’t have a problem with that. I’m bi, so making out with a guy isn’t new to me. And although I wouldn’t say I have a crush on Barba, I wouldn’t have a problem acting as his partner long enough to provide the type of photos that are needed. I do know what I am getting into here.”

Liv could feel the tension in her shoulders let up a little. “Okay then, I believe you and trust you know what you are doing. I’ll let the DA know. We’re speaking to Barba on Monday. You are going to have to spend quite a lot of time with him outside work in the next couple of weeks though, so plan for that. Probably staying overnight at his apartment would make it more believable as well. I’ll leave the two of you to sort out the details.”

“I’ll have a think about it over the weekend and come up with some ideas.” He stood up and walked towards the door.

“Thanks Carisi, for volunteering. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” He hesitated. “Can I ask what the backup plan was going to be? I really can’t see anyone believing Fin or Amanda if they had volunteered.”

Liv smiled wryly. “The DA’s other suggestion was me.”

Carisi laughed and then realized that it wasn’t appropriate. “It’s not that I don’t see that working, or doubt your abilities undercover…”. ‘Stop digging’ he told himself. “Well I guess you really do appreciate me volunteering. I’ll remember you owe me one!”

She nodded, taking the joking comment for what it was. “Get out of here Carisi. Have a good weekend.”

***


	2. Chapter 2

Rafael Barba walked into his office and put down his briefcase. He was glad to be back. He’d always been a bit of workaholic, so being off work for the last month had been hard. He’d enjoyed a nice vacation, but the rest of the time had been really boring. He was ready to be back in work.

His secretary, Carmen, popped her head around the door. “Nice to see you back Mr. Barba. The DA wants to see you at 9.”

He sighed. “Great, just what I need. I’ll be there.”

He didn’t hold the suspension against Jack McCoy. He knew that the DA couldn’t be seen to let him get away with what he had done scot free, and it wouldn’t have been too excessive to have been sacked over it, so a month’s suspension was pretty mild really. But visits to his boss usually caused more headaches so he wasn’t looking forward to this. He poured himself a coffee and checked his emails until it was time to leave.

***

“Welcome back Rafael. I’m sure you’re refreshed and ready to get back to work. Coffee?” Jack McCoy asked with a smile.

Rafael relaxed minutely. At least he wasn’t going to get another reaming out for his behavior. “Yes please.”

He took a seat as Jack’s secretary handed him a mug of coffee and then noticed Liv sat in the other seat facing the desk.

“Liv, good to see you. What are you doing here?”

Before she could answer, Jack did. “She’s here to brief you on the latest SVU case. It needs your input, but not in the regular way. Oh, and I volunteered you for this assignment, so don’t blame Liv.”

Rafael scowled. He definitely didn’t like the sound of this.

“Have you seen the news recently? Heard about the resignation of Judge Barnett?”

“Yes, I have. How is that an SVU case?”

“Judge Barnett is gay and was blackmailed into resigning by men who took incriminating photos of him with his partner. He wasn’t the only one. Our investigations have revealed 3 other men who have been forced to resign. One thing they all have in common was their views on LGBT rights and that their positions enabled them to have influence on government policy and legislation.”

Liv paused and took a sip of her coffee before continuing. Rafael could feel anger building up inside him; he hated this type of case. “Why on earth are they giving in to blackmail? The sodomy laws were overturned years ago and most companies and organizations have anti-discrimination policies which would prevent them being forced out. I can’t believe they were embarrassed about being outed to the extent they would give up their careers.”

Liv explained. “In the case of Judge Barnett, he decided to give in to protect his partner, who would have lost his security clearance and so his job if his relationship with the judge was made public. Another man was married, and apparently his wife didn’t know about his lover. They all have reasons. But the important thing is to stop anyone else being blackmailed.” 

“We have turned one of the crew working for the blackmailers into an informant. He doesn’t know enough to enable us to get to the men in charge, but he can and has told us where they are focusing their attention. We are stuck without further leads so our only option is to set up a sting operation. They ask for money first, probably to check that their marks are keen to keep their secrets and willing to pay for it, and the hand-off is in person. So that’s when we’ll catch them. But we need a target that is of our choosing to do that.”

She hesitated and Rafael saw her glance at Jack McCoy. “We have been told that they are currently targeting ADAs.”

Rafael immediately knew exactly where this was going but had no intention of making it easy for either of them. He sat back and sipped his coffee, feeling his face flush as his temper increased. 

The DA took over. “That’s where you come in Rafael. With your job you are obviously in a position to be influential in LGBTQ+ cases which come under the special victims’ purview, so you will definitely be watched by them. I want you to give them a reason to pick you as their next target, then we can catch these men before they destroy any more careers.”

Rafael glared at his boss. “Are you having this conversation with other ADAs who deal with these cases? O’Dwyer recently took Darius McCrae to court for the death of that transgender girl so he could definitely be a target.”

“No, I’m not. The fact that you’ve recently been suspended shows you are willing to break the rules if it suits you, so you would probably attract their attention. O’Dwyer is married with 3 kids and I don’t want to put his family at risk.”

“But you’re happy enough for me to put myself at risk by being involved,” Rafael said bitterly.

“I don’t mean physically. I’m not going to ask him to do anything which could adversely affect his marriage. You’re single so it doesn’t affect anyone else. Before you start thinking it, it’s not because I know you are gay either.”

Rafael glared at Olivia.

Jack sighed. “Olivia didn’t tell me. I knew when you first started working for me, and I have no problem with it. But it does make you an ideal target, as well as the fact that we know these men are white supremacists who are likely to be prejudiced against a Latino man.”

“Have you considered that I may be seeing someone who would object to this sting of yours? Or that I might not want my private life exposed in this way?”

“I checked, and from what I’ve been told, you are not seeing anyone. Are you telling me that is incorrect?”

Rafael stood up and glared at his boss. “You had me investigated!”

The DA wasn’t about to back down. “Yes, I did. I had to make sure you had nothing else to hide, no reason you could be blackmailed. Considering your recent history, I hardly think you are in a position to turn down assignments, Rafael. So, I’ll ask again, are you currently single?”

Rafael sighed but sat down again. He knew when he was beaten. “Yes I am.” He didn’t like to think about how long it had been since his last relationship. It had been months, years really since anything remotely serious. His job came first and took his mind off his loneliness.

McCoy gentled his voice. Rafael could tell he knew he had won. “Look Rafael, it’s only likely to be for a few weeks maximum. We set you up, confirm with our snitch that they are targeting you, and then catch them when you meet them for the pay-off.”

He snorted. “That easy, huh? Have you considered that if someone new suddenly appears in my life it would look like a set-up? Plus, I’ve never been open with my relationships, so if I’m seen giving PDAs in public it would look suspect. If the blackmailers wait to make contact until they have incriminating photos, that would be an issue.”

“Yes, we have thought of that.” Liz said. “It’s why we wouldn’t try to introduce anyone new as your partner, but use someone you already know and interact with. That way it won’t look suspicious, and also the conflict of interest would be ideal as grounds for blackmail.”

Rafael thought quickly, running through his mind all the potential people she could have in mind to act as his partner. He didn’t have to think long. He groaned. “Oh God no, you can’t seriously be suggesting Carisi?”

Liv smiled at him. “He volunteered when I discussed it with the squad. No-one would be able to see you and Fin as a couple, or Rollins, but Carisi? That’s doable. He has spent quite a bit of time with you over the last year, and has always been keen to impress you, so it’s not that big of a stretch to see him involved with you.”

“You think he’s my type?” Rafael asked, eyebrows rising enquiringly.

“I’ve no idea what your type is, but you’ve been doing the verbal equivalent of pulling his pigtails for years now, and he’s an attractive younger man. Even if he isn’t your type, I don’t think it would be too hard for people to believe he was.”

“He’s not gay.”

“He’s not straight either. He’s bisexual. I don’t suppose you would have to go too far for the gang to get strong enough evidence to blackmail you, and he told me it wouldn’t be a problem.” Liv patiently knocked down each of his excuses, and he was running out of reasons not to do this.

He sighed but kept quiet.

“Look Rafael, after your recent suspension, it is likely they will be looking at you anyway, as you’ve already proved you are willing to break the rules. Doing this and taking down the gang will improve your standing which right now you need. So cooperate. “

Rafael looked up finally and nodded at his boss before turning to Liv. “What do you want me to do?”

She smiled gently at him, and he could read the empathy in her eyes. At least she realized how much he was hating this. “Carisi will come by your office this evening. As you’ve been away last week it won’t look suspicious if the gang already has tabs on you. I suggest you either go out to dinner, or back to your apartment. He will stay the night, and then you can take it from there and work out between you what you need to do to appear credible as a couple. That’s important though, so do whatever you both deem is necessary.There won’t be any adverse consequences for either of you.”

“Easy for you to say,” Rafael muttered. He swigged back the last of his coffee before getting up and striding out of the office, without making eye contact with anyone.

***

It was 7pm by the time Rafael heard a commotion in his outer office, and then Carisi’s distinctive accent. He sighed. He had tried to put this out of his mind all day and just work, but it looked like his respite was over. He hated that he had been put in this position.

He could hear their voices through the wall of his office. “Is Raf… I mean Barba in,” he heard Carisi say. He winced, knowing that the detective had done that deliberately to let Carmen know that he regularly used Rafael’s first name. It was a good ploy, but he didn’t like dragging anyone else into this farce.

He stopped musing as his office door opened and Carisi stepped inside, closing the door behind himself and speaking louder than usual. “Finally, I’ve escaped work. I’ve missed you. Have you nearly finished? I want you all to myself.” The detective didn’t sit on one of the chairs in front of his desk, as he usually would do, but instead moved round the desk to stand only a foot away from where he was sat. He sighed again, but got to his feet. He knew what he needed to do.

“Yeah, all this can wait until tomorrow. I’ve missed you too,” he said loudly enough that he knew Carmen would hear him.

Rafael put his arms around Carisi and felt him reciprocate as they hugged close for a minute. He knew their silhouette was outlined by his desk lamp and so Carmen would be able to see them together. He kept his eyes on the outer office and tried not to think about how nice it felt in Carisi’s arms. When was the last time he had been hugged by anyone other than his mother? It had been far too long. He heard the outer office door close and let go of Carisi and stepped back.

“I assume that was to let Carmen know that we are in a relationship?” he asked the detective.

“Yes it was. I’m sorry if you didn’t want her to know, but I thought it would add realism, especially as I’m probably going to be around you more while this sting operation is going on, so thought she would know.”

Rafael nodded. “It’s fine; she’s been with me for a long time and usually would be aware if I was dating someone, so it makes sense that she would know if we were a couple. She is discrete and I’ve always trusted her, and I can let her know about the sting when it’s over.”

He stepped round his desk and went to get out 2 glasses and his bottle of scotch. He needed a drink to get through the conversation they needed to have, and suspected it would help Carisi relax as well. He sat down on the couch and watched as the detective shrugged out of his coat and sat down next to him.

“Why have you agreed to do this, Carisi?” he asked, passing the younger man a glass with a good couple of fingers’ worth of amber alcohol in it.

The detective took a sip before turning to face him. “Don’t you think you should be calling me Sonny, Rafael?” he said, emphasizing his first name.

He glared at the younger man but knew he was right. “Fine. Why have you agreed, no, volunteered to do this Sonny?”

He saw the smile flash over the detective’s face before he replied. “Someone has to and it makes most sense it was me. Fin and you as a couple definitely wouldn’t work, and you and Amanda would probably end up killing each other. Apparently the back-up plan if I didn’t do it was Liv.”

Rafael snorted. “I can see why she decided it was better that it was you. It’s a bit much for her to expect you to effectively prostitute yourself for this case though.”

“She didn’t force me, or even try to convince me. She was more concerned about whether I could handle it. And we don’t need to go that far. Yeah, we need to give the blackmailers some material to work with, but none of the photos we’ve managed to see show anything too intimate. I expect we will need to spend quite a bit of time together, including overnight, and some PDAs – kissing or making out. That’s fine. Liv was concerned at first, especially because she thought I was straight, but I told her I was bi and didn’t have a problem with it. We’ve got to get those scumbags put away before they ruin anyone else’s life.”

Rafael could see the truth in Cari… Sonny’s eyes. He really did need to start thinking of the younger man as Sonny if he was to successfully pull this off. He was interrupted from his musings by the detective.

“But are you alright with this? I volunteered and have had time to get used to the idea, but from what I’ve gathered, it was sprung on you this morning and you weren’t given any choice. I don’t know your sexual orientation and you’ve not done undercover work before, so you’re the one I’m worried about.”

Rafael laughed. “Don’t worry, Sonny, I’m not a nervous straight man who’s never kissed another guy before. I’m gay, so this is nothing new to me. Despite me not currently seeing anyone, I am familiar with being in a relationship and can fake it convincingly enough without undercover experience. I am pissed with the DA for not giving me a choice, and with Liv for not warning me as she could have done, but that’s not your problem. I agree we need to get these guys, and if this is the only way, then we do it. You have my consent.” He watched as the detective colored. He knew himself that issues of consent were foremost on his mind nowadays as working with SVU had shown him all the ways people could be forced, so wasn’t surprised the detectives were the same. He decided a change of subject was in order. He didn’t want to think too hard about kissing the other man, or what else they might have to do. 

“Liv said she expected you to stay at my place tonight,” he commented, eying the bag that was by Sonny’s feet.

“Yeah,” Sonny replied, “I’m sure it’s nicer than mine and it would probably make sense as you were away last week that we would be spending the night together.”

Rafael nodded. “I agree, but my apartment is small and I don’t have a spare bed.”

Sonny nodded. “I brought a blow-up mattress with me in case you didn’t.”

“Quite the boy scout, aren’t you?” he said snippily, but he relaxed minutely as he realized the younger man wasn’t expecting to sleep in the bed with him and had planned ahead. He knew his sofa wasn’t that comfortable to sleep on, having dropped off on it whilst working in the past.

“If it makes the difference between me getting a decent night’s sleep or not, then I’d rather be prepared.”

“Okay, I suppose we’d better get out of here,” Rafael commented with a sigh. “At least I’ve got an excuse not to stay late working for however long this takes.” He locked his papers in his desk and put his coat on before ushering Sonny out of the door and locking his office. They headed out towards the street together.

***

The man stood up and watched intently as he saw the ADA he had been assigned to watch leave 1 Hogan Place. With him was another man, and they were walking closely, laughing and talking. He watched the shorter man put his hand on the small of the taller one’s back and caress it. The taller man leaned into the touch.

He brought his camera up and snapped some photos. He needed to identify the other man. This could be something. He watched them all the way to the subway station and followed at a distance. The two men were at the other end of the carriage and the crowd made it difficult to see them, but he got off at the same stop and tailed them to the apartment building his target lived at, watching them go inside, still with eyes only on each other. He might actually enjoy this job. He smiled to himself as he thought about the bonus he was going to get if he was the one to bring down an ADA.


	3. Chapter 3

Sonny shrugged off his coat and hung it on a hook by the door, and then looked round at the well-kept apartment. It was small but clean, with expensive looking furniture, and a beautiful picture window with a view of the city.

“Wow, this is nice, and look at that view!” he exclaimed.

He glanced round to see Rafael not looking at the twinkling lights of the Chrysler Building, which he had just been admiring, but frowning as he tried to see in the windows of the apartment block across the street. He could guess what the problem was.

“We don’t think that the blackmailers have very sophisticated equipment, and we did a check on residents of that building who have a view to this apartment. There were no red flags. Security in this building is tight too. We should be safe from prying eyes while here, especially if the drapes are closed.”

Carisi smiled as Rafael immediately pulled a cord to close the curtains over the windows, blocking the view out for them, and in for potential blackmailers.

He watched Rafael walk over to the kitchen and get out a bottle of scotch and two glasses, glancing at him to silently ask if he wanted a drink. Sonny nodded. It might help his nerves.

Rafael came over to him and handed him the glass and then took a sip of his own. “So, what now?” the older man asked.

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. I could cook us something if you have food in.”

The ADA glanced helplessly towards the kitchen. “I think we may need to order takeout. I don’t have anything to eat here.” He opened a drawer of his bureau and picked up a handful of menus for delivery places, and the two men wasted 15 minutes choosing food and ordering it.

An awkward silence descended, which Sonny had to break. “Look, I know this is awkward, for both of us. But this is your home and I don’t want to get in the way. So go about whatever you usually would do. I want you to relax.”

“Ok. I’m going to change. The bathroom is first on the right if you want it. Remote’s on the table. Make yourself at home.” Rafael walked off, presumably in the direction of his bedroom, and Sonny picked up his bag and went to change in the bathroom. He dumped his suit on the back of a chair by the dining room table and sat on the couch, turning on the TV and looking with interest at the programs Rafael had TiVo’d. 

He heard his host re-enter the room and did a comical double-take as he watched Rafael who was now wearing a T-shirt and jeans, and bare feet. He stopped by the dining room table and picked up the suit Sonny had discarded.

“This won’t do. If we really were a couple I would never let you treat clothing like this or wear a rumpled suit. I’m guessing you haven’t brought a spare with you in that bag of yours.” He went to his bedroom and returned with some clothing hangers which he used to hang the suit to his satisfaction before coming closer to sit on the couch next to Sonny. 

Luckily by this time Sonny had managed to recover his composure. He had never seen the ADA dress so casually. On the rare occasions he had been in to the precinct on his day or evening off, he had still been pretty smartly dressed. His mouth went dry. Maybe this assignment would be more difficult than he anticipated. He dragged his eyes away from Rafael only to look into his eyes and see amusement there. He tried to ignore the color he knew was on his face and instead looked at the TV screen.

“What do you want to watch?” he asked, taking another sip of his drink.

“Whatever you fancy. If I’ve TiVo’d it, I like it, so I don’t mind,” Rafael replied.

Sonny went down the list, recognizing quite a few shows that he himself watched, and then on the second page he found what he wanted to see. “Game of Thrones!” he exclaimed. "I’m behind on this and haven’t seen these episodes.” He glanced at Rafael who nodded and then started the show.

By the end of the evening they were both full of Chinese food and up to date on the latest episodes of the series, and had relaxed somewhat. Sonny said goodnight to his host and blew up his air mattress while Rafael went in the bathroom, then used it himself before settling down for the night. But sleep didn’t come easily. He thought of how he had come to be in this position, sleeping in Rafael Barba’s apartment, something he never imagined would have happened when he first started at SVU.

He wouldn’t admit it, but when he first transferred to the unit he did have a crush on the ADA, as well as admiring his legal knowledge and skills. His constant barbs had spurred Sonny to learn more, and he had found himself staying up late to read up on law applicable to the cases they were investigating. It had helped him with his law degree, although it took a long time before Rafael would ever admit he was right on a point of law. But over the last few years that had happened more frequently, much to Sonny’s delight, and now of course he had his law degree and had passed the bar exam. So although he was still a detective and not planning to use his new qualification to change his career, he was satisfied he had the ADA’s respect.

His crush had subsided, but he still found Rafael attractive. He had always been interested in men as well as women, although the men had been much less frequent than the women as romantic interests. When the suggestion of someone to go undercover had been brought up by Liv, he had trouble stopping himself immediately jumping up to volunteer. He didn’t want to seem too keen, but he had no hesitation in taking on the role. Luckily for him Liv seemed quite happy to let him have his shot undercover.

He had spent the weekend in anxious anticipation, trying not to get his hopes up, as he knew the ADA hadn’t agreed to it. He had visions of him laughing at the suggestion and refusing outright, saying he would rather kiss a slug than Sonny, or something equally derogatory and embarrassing. He also tried not to think about what they might need to do to give the blackmailers material they could use. He would definitely enjoy that part of the undercover sting.

When Liv came back from the meeting with the DA he had gone to her office and asked how it went, half expecting her to tell him that it was off. That didn’t happen. He did tentatively ask how the ADA had taken it and Liv had grimaced. ‘Not well’ was all she said, before telling him he was expected at Barba’s office in the evening, and that he should plan to spend the night at his apartment. The butterflies in his stomach had started at that point and hadn’t stopped all day. He used breathing exercises to calm himself enough to go to sleep, but it was late into the night before he finally dropped off.

*** 

When Rafael woke up in the morning he lay in bed listening, but didn’t hear any noises from his unexpected houseguest. Last night hadn’t been as awkward as he had expected, with it being quite a pleasant evening with Sonny. It reassured him that they might actually be able to get through this. Of course, they hadn’t had to do anything much yet. They would need to give the blackmailers some ammunition. The thought of that sent a tingle down Rafael’s spine.

His relationship with Sonny had been an adversarial one from the start, with that only changing over the last couple of years as the detective had gained more experience both as an SVU detective and as a law student. Now he gave as good as he got, and that improved things between them. Rafael liked someone who wouldn’t let him get away with his bullshit, but pushed back at him. Sonny now did that, and had even been helpful during the Hoda trial. But the pedestal that he had had Rafael on since he started had been demolished, and Rafael missed the look of admiration that he used to get from Sonny.

The day before he had implied that the detective wasn’t his type, but knew that was a misdirect – Sonny was exactly his type, which probably led to the animosity he instinctively had towards the new detective when he started. Sonny was off-limits, so he had to do anything necessary to push him away. Now things had changed. They actually had to appear as a couple, and kiss and cuddle if not more for the case. He stopped himself before he could actually consider what they would need to do.

He got up and put on a robe before heading to the kitchen, pouring himself a coffee from the carafe which was set to turn on automatically. He added creamer from the fridge then turned and stopped. He had left Sonny blowing up his airbed, but that appeared to have been discarded, and he could see the detective curled up on the sofa, with a blanket half draped over his bare legs but mainly on the floor.

He pulled his eyes away from the sight and poured a second coffee which he took over to Sonny, putting it down on the coffee table before stepping back. The sound or movement must have woken the younger man up as he blinked slowly before looking up and then moving to a sitting position. He reached for the coffee before a grin started on his face.

“I never realized I would be getting coffee in bed in the morning. That’s definitely a perk of staying here. Thanks.”

Rafael looked at the airbed as a way of changing the subject. “Speaking of beds, what happened to yours?”

Sonny glared at it in disgust. “I don’t know. It was fine last time I used it, but I woke up around 3am to find myself on the floor, so I moved to the couch. I’ll try to pick up another one today. How about I get us some food too. I can cook tonight.”

“Sure, that’s fine by me,” Rafael replied. “I’m not one to turn down a home-cooked meal. But now I’d better get ready for work.” He swigged down the last of his coffee before heading for the bathroom and his morning shower.

***

When Sonny got to work, Amanda was already at her desk. She looked up and smiled at him, and his heart sank. He just knew he was going to get lots of ribbing from her while this sting was going on. She knew his feelings for the older man, thanks to a drunken night a while ago when he had confided in her.

“So how was last night with Barba? You’ve got bags under your eyes so it doesn’t look like you got much sleep. Were you two practicing for the blackmail photos?”

He glared at her. “Of course not! My airbed went down during the night and Barba’s sofa is not long enough for me so I didn’t sleep well.”

“So how was it? I can’t imagine Barba relaxing.”

He shrugged. “It was fine.”

“Oh come on,” she said in a cajoling voice, “you’ve got to give me something. No-one other than Liv has ever been to Barba’s apartment or knows much about him outside work, and you spent the night there with him.”

“What do you want me to say? We ate take-out and then watched TV before we went our separate ways to sleep. There’s nothing to tell you.” 

“What does he watch on TV? I can’t imagine him in his suit with his feet up watching anything like we would.”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “He’s not an alien, just a regular person. We watched Game of Thrones if you must know, and he changed into jeans and a T-shirt, as did I.”

Amanda glanced round and then lowered her voice. “I bet you think he looked hot in jeans, don’t you Sonny? Look, seriously, we haven’t discussed it since you got this undercover gig, but I know that you still find Barba attractive and will have no problems playing his boyfriend while it’s going on. If you want to talk to someone, I’m here. I can understand why you would volunteer to do this, but don’t fall for him. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

He looked at her and could read the sincerity in her eyes. She really was concerned about him. He smiled. “Thanks Amanda. Don’t worry about me. I might enjoy this, but I know it won’t go anywhere.”

Just then Fin arrived and so they looked busy and dropped the subject. Sonny sat down at his desk and reminded himself to listen to Amanda and not let Rafael get under his skin. He already had a soft spot for the ADA; he didn’t want to fall for him and have his heart broken, and that would be too easy to do.

***

When Carmen showed Sonny into his office that evening, Rafael was bemused to see two full bags of groceries. “What on earth are you planning to cook that you’ve bought that much food?”

The younger man grinned. “I checked your cupboards this morning and you really are missing most of the staples, so I decided to stock up.”

Rafael checked Carmen wasn’t within hearing distance and lowered his voice. “This operation shouldn’t be on for too long so you don’t need to buy lots of food.”

Sonny laughed. “I know that, but if I’m staying with you a bit, I want to be able to find something decent to eat for breakfast, as well as have some supplies to make food in the evening. Don’t worry, it won’t be wasted. Are you ready to leave?”

The ADA glanced at his desk and shuffled some papers together before putting them in a file and away in his desk. “Yes, I’ve done enough for today. One advantage of being on suspension is that I don’t have any pending trials.”

He picked up his suit coat and put it on before taking one bag from the detective and following him out of the door. They said goodnight to Carmen and made their way out of the building and back to Rafael’s apartment again.

Sonny changed and then started cooking in the kitchen while Rafael changed, and then went through his mail and personal emails. Soon they were sharing a meal of pasta and Rafael complimented the cook. He could definitely see the advantage of having Sonny around, although it probably wouldn’t be good for his waistline. This sting wasn’t proving as bad as he had expected. They were getting on well and he hadn’t found his houseguest a problem at all. It was nice to have pleasant company and not resort to bringing home work in the evenings.

After an evening chatting, and watching a little TV, Rafael started to get ready for bed. He popped his head into the kitchen as he had forgotten to set the coffee maker, and saw the detective setting up the couch to sleep on.

“I thought you were going to sort out another airbed today,” he commented.

“Yeah, that was the plan, but I got sent out to check an alibi and ran out of time. I’ll get one tomorrow. The couch will do for tonight.”

Rafael hesitated. He had seen Sonny rubbing his neck where he had probably cricked it by sleeping in an uncomfortable position last night, and remembered how the couch was horrible to sleep on. With Sonny’s long legs it was probably even worse for him.

“No. You won’t be able to move your neck tomorrow if you sleep on that again. Come on.” He turned and walk to his bedroom, before climbing into the bed.

He saw Sonny hesitating in the doorway. “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose. I can manage on the couch, honestly.”

Rafael glared at him. “Don’t be an idiot. This bed is big enough for both of us. Get in before I change my mind.”

Sonny grinned and quickly walked round the bed and got in. Rafael glanced at him before turning out the light and saw the younger man smiling at him. “Thanks Rafael,” he said. “Good night.”

“Sleep well,” Rafael responded before plunging them both into darkness. He lay still in the dark, trying to remember when it was he had last shared a bed with someone. It was definitely too long if he couldn’t remember. He found it surprisingly easy to drop off, and didn’t stir all night.

When he woke in the morning, it was to find himself being cuddled. He could feel Sonny’s breath on the nape of his neck and felt warm all down his back as Sonny was spooned behind him. He lay still for a few minutes, just enjoying the sensation. He had missed this. Then Sonny moved a little in his sleep and Rafael could feel the hard ridge of the detective’s morning wood against his backside. He had missed that too, and had to steel himself against pressing against that enticing ridge of manhood. His own cock started to throb in response to the thoughts going through his mind of what he would like to do, and moved away, getting out of bed and going straight to the shower. There he took himself in hand and relieved the tension that had built up by having an attractive man in his bed to sleep only.

***

Sonny woke up to find he was alone in bed, but could hear the shower running. He saw he had encroached onto Rafael’s side of the bed, and winced. He hoped he hadn’t done anything embarrassing. He did like to cuddle and tended to wrap himself around anyone he shared a sleeping space with. At least Rafael hadn’t kicked him to the couch in the middle of the night.

He got out of bed and poured a coffee for himself and left one on Rafael’s bedside table, before going into the kitchen to find something to eat for breakfast until the bathroom was free. Rafael was ready to leave at the same time he was, and hadn’t said anything about the night, so Sonny assumed he hadn’t disgraced himself in any way.

“I’m working an early shift tomorrow, and said I’d drop some stuff off at my sister’s later, so I won’t stay tonight,” Sonny said. “I’m sure we wouldn’t be expected to spend every night together anyway. I’ll stay tomorrow night though, if that works for you, and I’ll have time to get a new airbed before that as well.”

“Tomorrow night’s fine by me,” Rafael said, and Sonny saw him glance at him quickly then look away, almost as if he was embarrassed, before he continued. “Don’t bother with the airbed unless you want to. You don’t appear to snore, so you can share with me again if you like.”

Sonny grinned. “Your bed is definitely more comfortable than any airbed, so I’ll take you up on that, thanks.”

Rafael nodded and gestured for Sonny to precede him as they went out of the door and he locked it behind him. They didn’t talk in the elevator, and went their separate ways at the door to work. Sonny had trouble keeping the smile off his face though. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut and angst in this one...

Jack McCoy asked to see Rafael in the afternoon, much to Rafael’s annoyance. His boss was still in his bad books for the way he had set him up for this undercover sting. This meeting didn’t improve his mood. Jack wanted to know what they had done and when they were going to start providing material that the blackmailers could use. Rafael tried to keep his temper as he demanded to know what his boss expected of him. SVU had confirmed that the blackmailers weren’t set up to take photos into his apartment currently and as he was supposedly carrying on an illicit affair, he would hardly be having PDAs in public with his boyfriend. The DA told him to use his imagination, but do it fast, as if they didn’t do something soon, then the blackmailers may move on to another subject.

Rafael went back to his office in a bad mood which didn’t improve all afternoon, as he tried to think of what to do to accommodate his boss. In the end he rang Sonny and they agreed to go out for an early meal that evening before parting for the rest of the night. It could supposedly be to discuss a case, but it would work for their cover and maybe the younger man would have some ideas on how to accomplish the task they had been given.

They met at a restaurant Rafael liked and got a corner booth. If the blackmailers were watching they would have seen the two men sat closely together, and the occasional touch between them but not much else. The restaurant was too busy for them to do anything more. Rafael told Sonny about the meeting that afternoon and they discussed ways they could provide evidence for the blackmailers. In the end they went with Sonny’s simplest suggestion.

They left the restaurant together, but as they had agreed they would be going home separately, they didn’t leave immediately. Sonny led them into the shadows around the corner from the restaurant and pulled Rafael close to him.

“Is this okay?” Sonny asked him in a low voice.

“Yes,” replied Rafael, feeling the butterflies start in his stomach. He reached up with one hand and guided Sonny’s head down towards him and their eyes met briefly before closing as their lips touched.

Sonny sighed and relaxed his lips and Rafael took advantage of his capitulation, sending his tongue exploring the hot cavern of the younger man’s mouth. The kiss went from tentative to passionate in seconds, and he slanted his head to one side to get a better angle. They kissed urgently, their tongues dancing together and escalating the passion they were both feeling. Rafael moaned as he felt Sonny pull him further into his body so their erections ground together, and he couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting forward into the contact.

In the end it was Sonny who pulled away first, panting softly as he rested his forehead against Rafael’s. “Wow,” is all he said.

“Yeah,” Rafael responded, his voice lower and huskier than normal.

“I’d better go,” Sonny said and Rafael could hear the reluctance in his voice. It sounded as if the detective had been just as affected as he had been himself. “See you tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Rafael replied.

Sonny grinned. “I never would have believed it, Rafael Barba lost for words.”

Rafael glared at him as they separated further and walked back to the sidewalk, and then after one last look at each other and a soft ‘goodnight’, they went in opposite directions.

Rafael walked home lost in thought. He had never expected there to be so much passion between them. He was still turned on when he got home, and took himself in hand again when he got into bed, trying to think of anything but Sonny Carisi’s soft lips and hard cock, and failing miserably.

***

Sonny was nervous when he arrived at Rafael’s office door the next evening. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the kiss; how out of control it had gotten, and how much it had turned him on. It made him worry about sleeping in Rafael’s bed again tonight; although they had shared before, that was before anything happened between them. It was different now. He wasn’t sure his body wouldn’t betray him during the night and make a move on the man next to him. If that’s how much one kiss could turn him on, then what would more do? His conversation with Liv had escalated his worries. He shook his head and told himself to concentrate on the here and now, and stop his mind wandering. He rapped on the door as Carmen had already left, and took a deep breath before walking in at Rafael’s call to enter.

“Hi. It’s raining cats and dogs out there,” He said and inwardly flinched. Had he resorted to talking about the weather? That was pathetic. He put down his umbrella and took his coat off, slouching on the couch as he could see Rafael wasn’t ready to leave.

Rafael briefly glanced up before turning back to his notes muttering, “I just need to finish this. It won’t take long.”

Sonny got his phone out and looked through his social media feeds until he saw Rafael put his pen down and lean back. He glanced round and smiled at him.

“Work catching up with you now you’ve been back a few days?”

Barba grimaced. “Yeah, this rape case I’ve been given is a mess. This is why SVU should deal with all sexual assault cases. The witness statements are incomplete, and the victim was told she could shower before the rape kit was taken. I’ve very little chance of getting a guilty verdict so am trying to plead it down.” He frowned at the paperwork before gathering it together in the file and locking it away in his desk drawer.

He got up from behind his desk. “Give me some good news,” he said, looking expectantly at Sonny. “Liv said there was progress, and you would fill me in when you got here.”

Sonny nodded. “Jeremy Flynn, our informant, has confirmed that the photographer tailing you has reported in and although the photos taken last night are too dark and not considered intimate enough for blackmailing you, the higher up men are concentrating on you now. So the sting is a go. Liv says to heat things up.”

There was an awkward silence as both men studiously avoided looking at each other.

“Well I suppose that’s the result we wanted, although it’s a shame they didn’t think last night’s kiss was good enough for their purposes. Did Liv have any suggestions, considering the men don’t have cameras on my apartment? There is no way I’m stripping off in the street or risking getting caught having or even faking sex in some alleyway.”

Sonny fidgeted. He wished he had a couple of drinks inside him for this conversation. “She suggested we go to a gay nightclub with a back room…” He trailed off and risked a quick glance at Rafael, seeing his eyebrows go up and a look of disgust cross his face.

“Does she seriously think I would go to one of those places? Why the hell would I do that if I have a nice comfortable apartment where there is no risk of being caught?”

Sonny shrugged. “People do stupid things sometimes. Some men have a thing for being watched, or like the adrenaline of being at risk of getting caught. Some men just go to clubs to dance, and then get turned on so avail themselves of the facilities there. Point is, these blackmailers don’t know you well enough or what your preferences are, so aren’t going to necessarily question why we are there, just take advantage of the fact we are.”

Sonny watched Rafael get up and pour them both large drinks before he sat down on the couch and sighed heavily. Sonny gratefully took a large gulp of the whiskey, feeling it burning down his throat.

He looked round to see Rafael watching him. “I just heard you make Liv’s argument for her. I can see why she left it to you to tell me the news. But what do you think about this?”

Sonny sighed. “I haven’t thought of any better ideas to be honest, and I’ve been trying. I can see why it’s necessary, and judging by last night, it’s something we can pull off without too much acting involved. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, especially knowing photos of us will be taken and could be shown in court when it comes to trial. I mean, I knew this was the aim when I volunteered for this undercover gig, but now it’s come down to it, it’s a bit daunting. I’m not an exhibitionist.”

“Neither am I, but we have to do this. We need a plan – where to go, what to do that will give the blackmailers their photo without it compromising us any more than necessary. Then we get it over with.”

Sonny had been considering what to do all afternoon. “I know one club which isn’t too seedy. Good music and a decent clientele and discrete. It also has a back room which obviously is necessary in this case. We could go there, have a few drinks, a few dances maybe – I don’t know if you dance – and then go to the back room.” Sonny glanced round at Rafael, who nodded at him.

“Yes, I dance. Go on, you’ve obviously been thinking about this,” he said in a quiet voice, one Sonny recognized from when he was talking to reluctant and emotional victims. He looked down at his drink, as he forced himself to say what he had concluded was best.

“We could just undo our shirts, pull pants and underwear down a bit and use hands or frottage. Should give them a photo they could use without us revealing too much of ourselves to the camera. We’ll still be mostly clothed, and with our groins together they can’t get photos which are too indecent. Also, it won’t be obvious if we’re faking or not.” Sonny shut up and took a deep breath. He’d done it. He knew he was bright red with embarrassment though.

Rafael was quiet for a minute and topped up both their drinks before he spoke. Sonny was grateful for the extra whiskey and drank quickly. “Yes, that sounds a good idea. Neither of us wants the embarrassment that we would get from either an oral or intercourse photo. So do we do this tonight?”

Sonny looked round and made eye contact. “Yeah, best to get it over with I say.”

***

Four hours later they were on the dance floor, both having had a few drinks to relax themselves, but not enough to get drunk. Rafael pulled Sonny closer and draped his arms around his neck, moving his hips suggestively. Sonny looked down at him with a lust-filled expression on his face, and although Rafael knew he could be faking, the dilated pupils and hard cock he could feel as he moved against him weren’t faked. Sonny had been right earlier; they didn’t really need to act to pull this off. The lust was definitely real. This could be a problem going forward, but for now it was exactly what they needed.

Rafael felt Sonny’s hand move down his back and then cup his ass, pulling him closer. He gasped. At this rate they wouldn’t be faking the sex in the back room. He glanced round him and saw other couples were groping just as much if not more than they were. He angled his face upwards and looked at Sonny’s mouth. The younger man took the hint and leaned down to kiss him, and without any hesitation, they were kissing passionately, both immersed in each other. Their hips moved more frantically and it took a few minutes before Rafael could gather his wits and pull back.

“Back room, now,” he ordered, gesturing off the dance floor, as he wasn’t sure Sonny could hear him with the music being so loud. Sonny obviously got the message though as he nodded and started to move towards the back room. Rafael didn’t let go of him, but tucked his hand into the back pocket of Sonny’s jeans.

They got to the back room and found it was a large fairly dark room, with quite a number of men doing everything from blow jobs to full intercourse. Some were just watching and jerking off. Rafael found a corner that wasn’t too dark or crowded – he wanted to make sure the photos came out if they were doing this – and pulled Sonny in for another kiss. A minute later he turned them round, as he couldn’t see well enough over Sonny’s shoulder, and whispered in his ear.

“Look out for the photographer. We do more when he gets here.” Sonny nodded and Rafael concentrated on the kiss, trying to forget the reason they were there, and just enjoy the moment. God, he hadn’t felt like this for years, so desperate to get his hands on another man.

Just then, Sonny stiffened, before pulling away a couple of inches, just enough to start undoing Rafael’s shirt and then belt. Rafael took in a deep breath and followed his example; pulling Sonny’s shirt open and flicking open the belt buckle and undoing the zipper. Within a minute they were uncovered, with jeans and underwear round their thighs, and thrusting together.

Rafael panted and bit his lip, trying to keep a moan from escaping. This was too good. No matter why they were doing this, he wasn’t going to last. He could feel a trembling in the younger man as he gasped and moved his hips just as urgently. Rafael looked into Sonny’s eyes, reading the lust in his eyes and knowing it was reflected in his own, before he moved forward one last time, thrusting sharply as he took Sonny’s lips in a desperate kiss.

He had to break it as the ecstasy swept over him like a tsunami. He threw his head back and moaned, feeling his hot seed spread over his and Sonny’s still moving body. A few seconds later as he started to come down from his high, he heard a muffled scream from Sonny. He felt the hot gush of fluid from Sonny’s cock splash onto his skin as they slowly stopped moving. Rafael dropped his head to Sonny’s shoulder as he tried to get his breathing under control. He reached into his pocket and found his hands were trembling as he got out a handful of tissues, passing some to Sonny.

The two men pulled apart enough to clean themselves up and then redress, not making eye contact until Sonny pulled Rafael close and kissed him. This kiss was not one of lust, but affection. Rafael thought it was just as devastating as the others they had shared, as he could interpret the feelings behind it. He broke the kiss, and smiled awkwardly at Sonny, whose eyes narrowed, an indication he had realized the smile didn’t reach his eyes. They walked away, leaving the sex-filled room and loud nightclub behind them as they caught a cab back to Rafael’s apartment.

*** 

Sonny heard the door close behind them and tensed up. The endorphins of the orgasm he’d had didn’t last long enough, and the further away from the club they got, the more uneasy he felt. He had spotted the fake smile Rafael had given him and that set alarm bells ringing. The fact that they hadn’t spoken since they left the club hadn’t helped. He kicked off his shoes and emptied his pockets of the sticky tissues, which he deposited in the kitchen trash can. He turned around to see Rafael still stood by the door, watching him.

“I’m pretty sure the photographer got what he needed. I was a bit distracted, but I definitely saw a man watching us carefully. I’m not sure what type of concealed camera he was using, but I’m sure he had one. I think he had his cell phone out at one point too. So hopefully the blackmailers will get in touch tomorrow. You need to let Liv know as soon as you hear from them so she has maximum time to set up the meet.”

“Sonny, stop rambling,” Rafael interrupted him. Sonny flushed and looked away, before pouring himself a glass of water and drinking it in one. He knew he was acting strangely, but he couldn’t help it. He had no idea how to react in this situation.

“Come and sit down,” Rafael said, moving to the couch and patting the space next to him.

Sonny hesitated for a second before doing as he was told.

“Are you okay,” Rafael asked him, using that quiet, victim voice again.

“Yeah,” Sonny said, “Of course I am.”

“Really? Because you’re doing a good impression of someone freaking out,” Rafael said wryly.

Sonny ran his hand through his hair, not making eye contact with Rafael. “Sorry. I’ve just not done that before.”

“Which? Had sex in the back room of a nightclub, or with a co-worker, or been photographed while having sex.” 

“Any of the above.”

“Neither have I,” Rafael said. “Well, I have had sex with a co-worker before, a long time ago, but not the others.”

“Does what we did even constitute sex?” Sonny wondered.

“I would say so, yes, although if you’re more comfortable considering that it wasn’t, then that’s up to you.”

There was silence for a minute before Rafael spoke again. “So what’s really bothering you Sonny? Best to get it out in the open before it makes things awkward between us.”

Sonny snorted. “You think things aren’t awkward now?”

“Well yes, but only because you’re making it that way. We had a plan for tonight and we executed it. The sting should go ahead as planned and thanks to your foresight, neither of us should be overly embarrassed when the photos are sent.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you’re happy with how things went tonight. It’s good when a plan comes together,” Sonny said, sarcastically. “How do you _feel_ about what we did tonight, about me?” Sonny continued, emphasizing the feel.

Rafael sighed. Sonny continued to stare at him. He knew he was giving away too much, but couldn’t help it.

“We work well together and tonight was no exception. After last night, I wasn’t surprised that the passion we needed to show was genuine, no faking involved. I guessed that would happen. I care about you Sonny, and think of you as a friend, but that’s all there can be between us. We work together, and despite the lust that we had for each other tonight, we can’t be more than that. We just need to put tonight in a box, and move on.”

“I’m glad you are so good at compartmentalizing,” Sonny said bitterly. “It might take me a little time to do that.”

“How do _you_ feel about tonight?” Rafael asked.

“I agree; we did our jobs, and did them well. We followed the plan and it should give the result we need.” 

“and about me?” Rafael prompted.

Sonny made a determined effort to hide his feelings and when he felt he had them under control, looked round at Rafael with a polite smile on his face. “You’re my co-worker and a friend. That’s all.”

“Bullshit,”

Sonny stood up and glared at him. “What the hell do you expect me to say when you’ve already told me we can’t be more? My feeling obviously aren’t important to you so I’m not spilling them just to boost your ego.”

“That’s not true. I’ve told you I care, and I do. I want to help get things back to normal between us.” Rafael sighed and stood up as well. “But I can’t make you talk or be honest with me.”Sonny could tell he was giving up and felt relieved. He had survived this conversation. “Come on, time to go to bed I think.”

Sonny stiffened again. Oh God, he didn’t think he could share a bed with Rafael tonight. He could tell Rafael knew what he was about to say, because he responded before he even managed to get a word out.

“Don’t be stupid Sonny. We can share, just as we did the other night without any problems. We both need to get some sleep. It’s 2am now and we’ve both got work way too soon.”

Sonny got up reluctantly and headed to the bathroom while Rafael went to the kitchen to set up the coffee maker. He had a quick shower, needing to get the feel of dried semen off his body. He remembered so vividly the feel of Rafael’s body against his, the taste of his mouth, the sound he made as he came. He couldn’t believe that chemistry that strong and the lust they had both shared, could be written off so easily by Rafael. He had rarely had a sexual experience so intense, especially considering they didn’t even have intercourse, and it had affected him deeply. He never took sex lightly, and knew what they had done had just increased the feelings he already had. He remembered Amanda’s warnings not to fall in love, and whispered to himself ‘too late’.

He got out of the shower and dried off before quickly finishing up in the bathroom. He put on clean boxers and a T-shirt and headed to the bed, not making eye contact with Rafael. The older man took his place in the bathroom and Sonny turned the light off, facing away from where Rafael would soon be lying. He tried to calm down and took deep breaths, closing his eyes and thinking of cases and law references to stop his mind straying to the older man. He succeeded quite well, and exhaustion caught up with him, so even with Rafael joining him silently in the bed, he managed to fall asleep. 


	5. Chapter 5

In the morning Rafael had an early meeting, so didn’t hang around. He got up and dressed and was out of the door before Sonny even made it out of bed, so they managed to avoid any awkward conversation. Rafael was glad about that. He hoped time would improve things between them.

Despite him deliberately trying to appear quite unaffected by what they had done the night before, he wasn’t really feeling that way. He had dreamt of Sonny during the night, waking up hard and wanting, and struggled not to reach for the younger man, sleeping only inches away from him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so affected by sex, even with more intimate acts than they had done. It would help if they hadn’t been so in sync, if they didn’t get on so well, or Sonny didn’t obviously have strong feelings for him. He knew he couldn’t allow anything to happen again between them, now they had done what they needed to do for this case. He was too old, too weary, too cynical and just too scared of relationships if he was honest; the opposite of what Sonny needed. That didn’t help his memories of the night before fade though. He tried to concentrate on work, with limited success.

It all came flooding back when he received a hand-delivered package marked ‘private and confidential’ with no return address. He hadn’t expected to receive anything so soon. The blackmailers must be getting desperate, or bold, not to be using the postal service. He looked at it for a few minutes before making any move to open it. He had obtained some latex gloves from Liv in case the photos arrived, and put them on before carefully opening the flat package with his letter opener. Inside was a single sheet of paper with the expected demand for money, which read the same as the one Liv had emailed him that the judge had received. He hesitated before taking out the photos. There were 8 of them, and he was shocked at how clear they were. They could have been taken by an expert photographer in full daylight for the detail they had captured. He couldn’t believe they were from a concealed camera.

The images really disturbed him. They were nearly full length photos of him and Sonny, head to knee, and although they weren’t showing much flesh, it was the expressions on their faces that gave away the intimacy and made him catch his breath. The look of lust on both their faces; the desperation in their kiss; the passion as they gazed at each other was fully evident. They had even managed to catch what in porn would be called the ‘money shots’ – the final 2 photos showing the exact moment both men came. Rafael hastily pushed the photos back into the envelope and got to his feet, rounding the desk and getting out his whiskey bottle and glass with shaky hands. It might only be 11am but he needed a drink to get over the shock of seeing those. He knocked it back in one and put the bottle away before he could give in to the temptation to keep drinking until the images faded from his memory.

After five minutes of deep breathing, he felt he was more under control again. He knew what he needed to do; he had to report this to Liv and hand over the envelope to a member of SVU who would enter it into evidence, get it all dusted for prints and processed. The idea of anyone seeing the photos was abhorrent, but it was his job and he had no choice.

He hesitated before picking up the phone. He knew even though access to the photos would be restricted; a number of people would still need to see them. He had to give Sonny the chance to look at if he wanted to, before they were processed. He knew if it had been the other way round, he couldn’t have borne other people seeing them before he did himself. No matter what he thought of them, it was better to know than wonder.

***

Sonny picked up the phone on his desk reluctantly. He really wasn’t in the mood for anything today, being exhausted, and feeling depressed. He had tried to put Rafael out of his mind without success, and had ignored the worried looks he had gotten from both Liv and Amanda. He didn’t want to talk about it.

“Carisi.”

“Sonny, I’ve received a package from the blackmailers. You can tell Liv to get ready for the meet when I reply to their demands.”

“Okay.” Sonny paused for a second. “Why did you ring me rather than her?”

“I need to hand it all in to evidence, and it needs processing for prints. I thought you should know and have the chance to look at the photos if you wanted to, before I did that.”

Sonny slumped down, holding his head in his free hand as he tried to think clearly. “Do you think I should see them?”

“That’s up to you. I know if it was the other way round, and people were going to see photos of me, I would want to know what they contained, no matter how bad. You may not feel the same, but it’s your decision.”

Sonny’s breath caught. “Are they bad?”

“They are… pretty intimate considering they don’t show that much flesh. It’s mainly our expressions that give away what’s happening. They are much better quality than I expected, unfortunately.”

Both men went silent before Rafael interrupted Sonny’s scattered thoughts. “I need someone from SVU to collect the photos. That can’t be you, but either send someone round to get them, or come too if you decide to look at them yourself. I’ll be in my office all day.”

“Okay. Who do you want to collect them?”

“I don’t care, as long as it’s one of the squad. The quieter we can keep all this, the better.” There was a long silence before beeping was heard on the line.

“I’ve got to go; that’s another call. I’ll speak to you later.”

Sonny put the phone down in the handset and slowly got up from his desk, walking to Liv’s office, his mind whirring. Although he wasn’t keen to see the photos, he knew he had to know and see them for himself. Liv glanced up when he knocked on the door and told him to come in. He told her that the blackmailers had been in touch and he needed to go with someone to Barba’s office to get the parcel. She was about to go on a conference call, and Fin was out of the precinct so Sonny agreed to go with Amanda.

He was about to walk out of her office when she spoke again, in a soft voice.

“Carisi, are you okay?”

He was getting sick of being spoken to like a victim, even if he felt like one at the moment. He tried to smile but could tell it really wasn’t effective. “I’m fine, Lieu. I just want this to be over.”

She nodded at him, but he could tell she really wasn’t buying it. “Okay, if you say so. But if you need any time or to talk, I’m here for you.”

He nodded and muttered his thanks before heading out.

***

Amanda drove to Hogan Place in silence, not interrupting Sonny who was deep in thought. After she parked, she hesitated before getting out of the car.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

Sonny shook his head. He couldn’t do anything apart from think about the photos at the moment. “Not now, no. I need to see these photos first, find out how bad they really are.” He had told her briefly before they left what she needed to do.

They got out and went up to Rafael’s office slowly, and Sonny could feel his heart rate speed up as they got closer. Carmen announced them and Rafael opened the door himself.

He looked at Amanda and said, “Can you give us a couple of minutes, Rollins?” Amanda nodded and sat in the waiting area as Sonny walked into the office, his eyes glued to the envelope on the edge of the desk.

“Is that it?” he asked, getting out a pair of gloves from his pocket and putting them on.

Rafael stood back, his hands jammed in his pockets. “Yes. Are you sure you want to look at them?”

“No,” Sonny replied. “But I can’t not see them.”

He emptied the contents of the envelope on the desk and picked up the photos and took a deep inhale of breath as he saw the first one. ‘Oh my God,’ he thought, ‘I never realized we looked like that’. He could see the lust on both their faces as they strained together, about to kiss. The next photo was worse, and they just kept on. By the time Sonny got to the last one, he was almost hyperventilating. He dropped them back into the envelope but couldn’t move, frozen in shock.

He didn’t know how long he was stood there, but when Rafael put his hand on his arm and helped him towards the couch, he didn’t resist. The gloves were peeled off and a glass of scotch was pressed into his hand, and he drank it in one automatically, before coughing. He put his head in his hands, trying to slow his breathing.

***

Rafael watched Sonny in consternation, wondering if he had looked the same when he saw the photos. He wanted to comfort him, take him in his arms, and protect him from the men hoping to ruin them. He ignored this instinctive reaction and turned around to open his door, gesturing for Rollins to come in. The sooner those photos were away from him the better.

The female detective came into the room and saw the state Sonny was in and glared at Rafael. “What’s the matter with him?” she asked.

Rafael just gestured at the envelope. “It’s those. Just get them in an evidence bag will you, and for God’s sake make sure they are locked away when they have been processed. We don’t want anyone other than essential personnel to see them.”

She nodded and got out the evidence bag she had brought with her and sealed the photos in it, writing the details and putting her signature over the seal.

Sonny got up and walked shakily to the door, muttering about visiting the restroom and meeting her by the car. He didn’t make eye contact with either of them.

Rollins looked at him and he could see the worry in her eyes. “I’ve never seen him like this before. Will he be okay?”

Rafael watched Sonny walk away and then sat on the edge of his desk when the younger man was out of sight, giving his attention to the detective still in his office. “Yeah, give him time. It’s the shock. He’ll get over it. He’s tired and emotional, and I think seeing those photos was the final straw. It’s been a difficult 12 hours.”

She nodded, and then looked at him intently. “And how about you; are you okay?”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to be concerned about him. He tried to smile but it probably looked to her as forced as it felt to him. “Not really. I will be though. We both need time. Just… look after him, will you? He’s struggling at the moment.”

“Yeah I can see that,” she said. “I will. You look after yourself as well.”

He nodded, and looked down, lost in thought as she left his office and closed the door quietly behind herself.

***

Sonny splashed water on his face and dried it. He felt like crying but knew if he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop. God his life had gone to shit in less than 12 hours. He slumped against the wall for a few minutes before reluctantly pushing away and walking towards the door. He had to get out of here. He had a job to do, even if it was the last thing on his mind at the moment.

He saw Amanda looking at her phone, waiting for him, and got into the car and put the seatbelt on. She set off without comment and Sonny stared unseeingly out of the passenger side window. He came to with a start when the car stopped, only to realize they were not back at the station, but at a restaurant they had visited not long ago, a bit out of town.

“What are we doing here?”

“Getting lunch, with Liv’s blessing. You’re in no state to do anything, and I think you need a break, some food and maybe a drink. You probably need to talk about it as well, but that’s up to you. No pressure.”

Sonny shook his head. “I don’t think I could eat. I feel sick.”

“Yeah, shock will do that to you. The nausea will go when you eat something. Come on.”

He followed her slowly and ordered the most innocuous comfort food he could find on the menu – pasta. Amanda ordered a burger and they got sodas too, although she did suggest something stronger for Sonny. He refused. The scotch he had had in Rafael’s office was still in his stomach which was churning uneasily, so he didn’t want to add to it.

She filled the silence before their food was delivered by chatting about Jesse, and Sonny drifted in and out of the conversation. He struggled at first to eat but found that once he got down the first few mouthfuls he did feel a bit better, and didn’t have any trouble finishing his meal. Amanda ordered them coffees and then when they were delivered, turned a more serious face to him.

“So are you ready to talk about it? Because I think you need to. You looked like death warmed over all morning and now you resemble one of our sexual assault victims. Barba doesn’t look much better. So what the hell happened?”

He sighed. He really didn’t feel up to talking, but he knew it would be good to get it out and have a second opinion.

“It started on Wednesday. The DA said we had to get the blackmailers’ attention. I had an early shift the next day so wasn’t staying at Rafael’s. We had early dinner at a restaurant and then went home separately. But we ducked into the alley next to the restaurant for a ‘goodnight kiss’ as the blackmailers would see it.”

He paused, lost in the memory of those few minutes.

“Good kiss I’m guessing,” Amanda commented when he didn’t continue.

Sonny glanced up at her briefly. “Yeah, very good. Really passionate. I wasn’t expecting it to be like that, and I could tell neither did he.”

“Yesterday Liv told me that we had to give them evidence of our relationship and ammunition so they could get on with the blackmail. I worked out a plan and told Rafael. He agreed, and we put it into action. It worked, too well.”

“What was the plan?” Amanda asked in a quiet voice.

Sonny shrugged and looked at his coffee, not making eye contact with her. “Go to a gay club, make out, then to the back room and engage in a bit of frottage. Nothing too intimate for the photos, and no way to tell if we were faking or not.”

“Looks like that didn’t work, judging by your reaction to the photos.”

He shook his head. “It’s not what the photos show we’re doing but our facial expressions that got to me. Plus the memories they brought back.”

“I’m assuming neither of you were faking.”

“No,” he said in a quiet voice. “I did what you told me not to do, the other day. I should have known I couldn’t do this without getting too close, too involved. I fall too easily, and I’ve always fancied Rafael. I should have protected myself and not volunteered.”

She put one hand over his, and squeezed gently. “You’ve a big heart Sonny, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Spending time with Barba, and having to get intimate with him like that, it’s not surprising that you’ve fallen for him and want more from him. Have you discussed how you feel or asked him how he feels?”

Sonny snorted. “It doesn’t matter what I want. I won’t get it. We are co-workers and he considers me a friend. That’s what he told me in no uncertain terms last night when we got back. He says we can’t be more than that. I didn’t admit how I feel, but lied and said I felt the same. He said that was bullshit, so I know he could tell I was lying. It was really awkward staying there last night, and I know we will have to keep up appearances of being a couple until the blackmailers are in custody. So, I’m going to have to go back there again. Be alone with him and stay overnight. To make things worse, by airbed died, so I’ve been sharing with him.”

Amanda sighed and when he glanced up briefly he could see the empathy in her eyes.

“Do you need to go to Barba’s tonight or can you stay at your place? It’s the weekend, so did you arrange anything?”

Sonny shrugged. “We never got that far. I could maybe go visit my parents. That would get me out of seeing Rafael.”

“That’s a good idea. So here’s what I think you should do. Spend tonight at home. Wallow, cry, get drunk; whatever helps, but get it out of your system. See your family this weekend, and get your act together. Then Monday you go back to his place, head held high, and act your socks off.”

Sonny looked at her in astonishment.

She continued; “You be friendly, joke around with him, help him with his work, cook for him, but you act the same way you would do normally, as if the passion hadn’t happened. Because if you don’t, he will close himself off to you, keep away, and you will never be able to work well together again. You will both remember this sting with embarrassment, and neither of you will be able to get past it and resurrect your relationship, working or otherwise.”

Sonny nodded, seeing the truth in that.

“If you do this though, you move on and are able to be friends and work together again. He might know how you feel, but you need to prove you can ignore that and be friends with him.”

He smiled at her, as he realized this was true. They both finished their coffees and got up to leave before Amanda continued.

“You never know, Barba strikes me as the type who wouldn’t admit his feelings or give in to them easily. I think he would take his time in making a decision about who to get involved with, and protect himself from getting hurt by denying he has any feelings. Passion like that only happens if both people feel it, and if it was that good, I doubt he would be able to forget it or discount it easily. So I wouldn’t give up just yet. I think you could still have a chance with him. You won’t win him over by moping though, but by reminding him how well you get on, and how good a relationship could be between you. It might not work, but at least you will know you have given it your best shot.”

Sonny grinned at her, feeling a surge of optimism. She was right. It could work, and even if it didn’t, he would be able to salvage their working relationship and friendship.


	6. Chapter 6

That night Sonny did as Amanda suggested. He messaged Rafael and said he wanted to stay at his place and had family commitments over the weekend, but would see him Monday evening, and then went home alone. He got drunk and cried, and jerked off as he thought about what had happened and the strength of the passion between them. Then he drank lots of water, downed some Tylenol, and went to bed.

In the morning he was feeling better, emotionally at least. His hangover was bad but coffee, painkillers and pastries helped. He made the trip out to Staten Island and helped his Dad with some DIY, his mom with baking for the church fair, and teased his sister. It was a normal weekend with his family and by the time he got home on Sunday evening he was feeling much more himself.

Monday found him back at work and he thanked Amanda for her advice, and told her he’d had a good weekend. He managed to concentrate on work until mid-afternoon. Liv asked him how he was doing again, and he could honestly tell her he was feeling better. Things were slow so she told him to go early. He had done more than enough overtime already that month. He thought about what Amanda had suggested, and went over to Hogan Place. He would be able to relax more if he could at least see Rafael before they both got to his apartment later.

Rafael was in his office and greeted Sonny cautiously when Carmen indicated he could go in. He smiled at Rafael.

“Hi. Liv has shooed me from work. Apparently overtime is tight so I’m free until tomorrow. I was wondering about cooking for us tonight. What do you think?”

Rafael put down his pen and leaned back in his chair, looking at Sonny carefully. “Yeah, sounds good. You seem better today. How are you doing, really?”

Sonny sat down in the chair in front of the desk. “I’m okay; much better than Friday. A bit of time with my family and perspective helped. Plus quite a lot of alcohol.” He grinned at Rafael who chuckled.

“Yes, I did rather overindulge myself.”

“What’s done is done. The difficult bits of this case are over with and soon we can get everything back to normal, with hopefully these scumbags in jail. How are you feeling?”

Rafael shrugged. “Like you, time and alcohol has helped. Hangovers last longer now I’m older unfortunately, but I’ve recovered from it.”

“So, I was thinking cannelloni tonight. Is that okay with you? It always goes down well with the squad when I’ve cooked it for them. I can pick up the ingredients and meet you later if you know when you’ll be finished.”

Rafael hesitated for a second then opened the top drawer of his desk, pulling out his spare key. “Take this. It’ll save you waiting for me. I don’t know how long the deposition I’m going to will last so I’ll meet you at home when I escape.”

Sonny reached over to take the keys off him but caught his eyes first. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Rafael rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m sure. I trust you Sonny.”

Sonny grinned at him. “Thanks. See you later then.” He got up and headed out of the office, feeling tons better than when he had walked in. This had been a good idea.

*** 

Rafael hadn’t been sure what to expect when Sonny had showed up at his office, but felt less tense by the time he left. All day be had been worried about what Sonny would be like with him now, so he felt very relieved. That had been pretty much like normal, so different from their last couple of interactions – at home after the club and in his office with the photos on Friday. He had been concerned that this sting was going to ruin their relationship and the remaining time they spent together alone would be uncomfortable. But it looked like that wasn’t the case.

He wasn’t stupid; it was obvious Sonny had feelings stronger than friendship for him, and wanted more from their relationship. But it seemed he had managed to compartmentalize over the weekend. He heaved a sigh of relief. He hadn’t thought he could face a night of sulky Sonny, but a home cooked meal and a cheerful friendly Sonny was a different story.

He had spent Friday evening alone, thinking about what had happened, and how quickly it had all gone to hell between them. One minute they were making out and half an hour later they were at loggerheads. He knew that he had upset Sonny by telling him they couldn’t be more than co-workers and friends, but he felt he had to do that. Even though they did get on well, and they certainly had chemistry together, he was wary of relationships. He had been alone for so much of his life that even the idea of opening up to someone in that way and risking being hurt was enough to make him want to run in the opposite direction. He was more tempted by Sonny than he had been with anyone for years though.

***

Rafael opened the door and walked into his apartment, hanging his coat up and putting down his briefcase, before looking round toward his kitchen. He saw an empty shopping bag and Sonny wiping his hands, and smiled as he took off his shoes and then walked towards the delicious aroma of Italian cooking. 

“Coming home to the smell of home cooking is great. I could get used to this!” He said, before considering how Sonny could take his words wrongly. He didn’t need to worry though.

“Yeah, Amanda is missing out at the moment as she is the one who usually benefits from my cooking,” he said chuckling. “Maybe I should hire myself out as a chef rather than trying to be a detective and lawyer. May not be better money but it’d be less stressful.”

Rafael smiled at him, relieved that they seemed to be back to their easy camaraderie without any tension between them.

“You’re right about the stress, and if that tastes as good as it smells, then you definitely could charge for your services.” Rafael commented, before heading towards his bedroom. “I’ll just go and change.”

He dressed more casually and used the bathroom before joining Sonny again, sitting at the kitchen counter watching the detective work. He found himself checking him out, admiring the way his ass filled the jeans he was wearing, and the muscles he could see under the T-shirt he had on as he stirred the sauce. A flash of skin became visible as his top rose up, and this caught his attention as Sonny stretched to reach another ingredient. He remembered how soft his skin was, and how hot, and he could feel a tightening in his groin. He quickly looked away. He was the one who had insisted there was nothing between them. He couldn’t be ogling the younger man like this. He looked for a neutral subject to talk about.

“I finally managed to agree a deal for that rape case. Luckily the defense attorney was a bit too naive to realize that with the evidence we had that we would be unlikely to get a conviction. I’d never have gotten away with that with Calhoun or Buchanan.”

“That’s good news. What did you plead him down to?” Sonny asked, glancing at Rafael over his shoulder before turning back to the bubbling pans.

“Sexual misconduct in the first degree. A misdemeanor, but he goes on the register.”

“That’s pretty good with weak evidence. Did you feedback to the squad who dealt with it what the problems were with the case?”

“Oh yeah. I gave the Captain a right earful about the failings of his detectives. He’s promised me that they will be going for mandatory retraining on sexual assault case procedures so hopefully I won’t have this headache again. It’s not fair on the victims to not get them the justice they deserve.”

Rafael watched as Sonny stuffed the meat mixture into the cannelloni tubes and then poured white sauce over to cover the pasta. He then put the dish in the oven and set the timer.

“You’ve certainly got the hang of my kitchen appliances,” he said.

Sonny laughed. “Have you ever even used this oven? It looks brand new.”

He shrugged, and could feel his face heating up a little. “I’ve used it to heat up pizza. That’s about it. I don’t have time to cook.”

“Or the skills?” Sonny enquired, and Rafael nodded. He had always had too many more important things to do with his time so had never bothered.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You should learn to cook a few things. It’s easy to do a few simple dishes and much better than take-out all the time. A big pot of chili could be split into lots of meals and frozen so you could have home cooking whenever you want.”

Rafael grinned. “I like chili. I have no objection to you freezing a few meals for me while you’re here.”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I bet you don’t. How about the latest episode of Game of Thrones while we’re waiting for it to bake?”

Rafael nodded and headed to the lounge. He really could get used to evenings at home like this. He tried to squash the thought.

***

Sonny stacked the dishes in the sink feeling quite satisfied. If the way to Rafael’s heart was through his stomach, he definitely was succeeding. He had shopped and cooked to distract himself from his nerves, being a bit apprehensive about the evening, and it had worked. Rafael had almost moaned as he tasted the dish, and had eaten two platefuls as well as his share of garlic bread. The conversation between them was easy and it was almost as if the lust that had erupted between them never happened, although Sonny couldn’t forget it, and had caught Rafael checking him out a few times. He told himself to not count his chickens but be patient. Rafael was like a skittish horse - he had to be reeled in slowly so he didn’t panic and bolt. He felt confident now that at the very least he had resurrected their working relationship and friendship. If he got more, then that was great, but tonight had ensured were back to where they had been.

“Leave those,” Rafael called from the sofa. “I’ll do them later. It’s the least I can do after you cooked. Come and relax and let the food settle.”

Sonny smiled. That he could do.

They watched more TV as their food went down, and then Rafael tidied up the kitchen while Sonny called Bella. She had been having trouble with Tommy and wanted to discuss it with her brother. Then they watched the news before calling it a night. Sonny felt much more relaxed tonight in the same bed as Rafael, without the awkwardness between them. But he did feel an undercurrent of sexual tension. He told himself to ignore it, and settled down to sleep.

***

The following day Rafael got confirmation from the blackmailers where and when they wanted the money leaving, so plans were made for this the next day. Liv had decided that it would be a good idea for the squad to release some of the tension before the meet, so they all ended up in Forlinis after work. It was nice to have an excuse to go out and let off steam, and Rafael joined them. They didn’t know if the blackmailers would still have surveillance on them, but it was safest to assume they were still being watched.

The squad had been watching Sonny and himself, Rafael felt, but they were treating each other as they normally would do, and gradually he had felt less conscious of the attention. But then Liv decided to corner him.

“So how are you doing Rafael?” she asked.

He smiled at her. “I’m fine. I’ll be glad when this is all over, but I’m enjoying the perks in the meantime.”

Liv looked alarmed and he suddenly realized how his words could be misconstrued, so he elaborated. “Sonny’s cooking. I’d need new suits from eating too much good food if this case went on much longer.”

She laughed, her face clearing. “Yes, he definitely is good in the kitchen. I don’t know how he found the time with work and the amount of overtime he puts in, plus his family and studying. I’m glad you are okay though. I saw the state Sonny was in Friday afternoon and was worried. I need you both to be able to work together after this case is closed.”

He nodded. “We’re fine now. It was a bit dicey for a day or two there but we’re both good at compartmentalizing and have put what we had to do behind us.”

He could see she didn’t look convinced. “If you say so. I hope you’ve dealt with it properly though, not just swept it under the rug. Things have a way of blowing up in your face if you try to ignore them.”

Rafael waved off her concern but inwardly acknowledged she was right. He wasn’t sure he had done that adequately and was positive Sonny hadn’t either. But they just needed to hang on a bit longer. Tomorrow the meet would happen and then they could give up this charade.

*** 

Not much later Sonny was being interrogated by Amanda. They hadn’t worked together that day so she hadn’t had chance to find out from him how the previous night had gone. He filled her in while they were stood at the corner of the bar, well away from the other members of the squad.

“So how do you feel about him now?” she asked.

Sonny took a sip of his drink before replying. “It’s immaterial. I respect myself too much to moon over someone who isn’t interested, or who doesn’t appreciate me. Rafael had his chance. I’m a great catch and if he doesn’t want me then I’ll move on. I don’t want to be second choice or always worry that I was picked because I’m the easy option. I want someone who thinks I’m special; who can give me love and respect and wants a life with me. I’m willing to wait for the right person and won’t settle for less.”

Amanda grinned at him. “Good for you! That’s the right attitude to have. You’re too good for him anyway.”

He laughed. “You just like me free and single so I’ll be back around your place cooking again. Admit it – you’ve missed me.”

She snorted. “Okay, I’ll admit I’ve missed your cooking and so has Jesse. We eat much better when you’re around.”

“Maybe I should hold cooking classes. Both you and Rafael need to learn how to cook for yourselves.”

“Yeah, that’ll be the day,” she said, then picked up the drinks and headed back to the table where the squad were sitting. Sonny followed, feeling better after the conversation. He knew what he told Amanda was true, but it didn’t stop the pangs of regret that he felt when he considered what he and Rafael could have. He hadn’t felt lust like that for a long time, and they got on well and complimented each other. But he knew that if there was no sign of Rafael changing his mind before the case was over, then he would have to admit defeat and move on, no matter how much it hurt.

***

Rafael leaned against the wall, just around the corner from where a minute ago Sonny and Amanda had been standing. He had heard most of their conversation, and despite knowing that eavesdroppers rarely heard good things about themselves, he hadn’t been able to resist listening and finding out for himself how Sonny was feeling.

Now he knew, and despite his head telling him that Sonny was right; that if Rafael was too chicken to give things a chance between them he needed to move on, his heart was saying something different. It ached. He wanted lust, love, fun, laughter and yes, good food in his future, and to share all that with Sonny. He was just scared.He wasn’t sure he could really open himself up to a relationship with the younger man. But he also berated himself for not even giving it a chance. Surely Sonny was worth it?

He spent the rest of the evening thinking about it, and as a consequence being quite distracted. By the time they all split up and went their separate ways, he still hadn’t made a definite decision. Sonny was staying over again, so they were walking the few blocks back to his apartment.

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” Sonny commented.

Rafael shrugged. “A lot on my mind.”

“Anything I can help with?” he asked.

Rafael smiled in irony. “Not at the moment, but thanks.” He was definitely leaning towards giving a relationship between them a shot, but was still working his way through the potential ramifications, and wanted to make his mind up before discussing it with Sonny.

They continued walking, and went to bed when they got back, without anything more serious than small talk. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry - this is pretty much all smut! ;)

Rafael woke up with a start, realizing his heart was racing and his cock throbbing. He had been dreaming about Sonny again, remembering the passion between them. He relaxed on his back and turned his head to see that Sonny had woken up too.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Not a problem. Nightmare?” Sonny asked.

Rafael swallowed hard. “No.” he replied. He looked at Sonny and could see when he figured out what the dream had to be.

He grinned. “Ahh. A dream of the more pleasant variety. Lucky you.”

Being so close to the younger man almost felt painful. He wanted to touch him so badly, to feel again the lust that had sparked between them. He knew his feelings were stronger than his fear about getting involved with Sonny, and this was his last chance. If he worked out every potential problem in his head before he acted, he would lose Sonny.

‘To hell with it,’ he told himself, and turned on his side before reaching out a hand, putting it on Sonny’s chest.

The younger man immediately locked eyes with him, before glancing down at his lips and licking his own. Rafael knew he could tell what was on offer here. But he hesitated before speaking.

“What is it you want? Because I’m not interested in one night with you. It’d make things too awkward again. If this is just because you’re feeling horny after your dream…”

He shook his head. “It’s not just that. So, all or nothing?” Rafael murmured, swallowing when he saw Sonny nod.

He hesitated. “Sonny, I’m not good with relationships. You need to know that.”

“Are you willing to try, to give us a chance?”

He knew this was the right decision. “Yes,” he murmured huskily, “I’ve been thinking about it for days.”

Sonny didn’t hesitate any longer. He moved as quick as lightening to wrap one arm around Rafael and pull him closer into a kiss.

Rafael sighed as he opened his mouth, and let the lust consume him. This was what he wanted.

*** 

Sonny slid across the bed, covering the cold space between them quickly and to the heat of Rafael’s body. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He thrust his tongue into Rafael’s mouth, feeling a moan start up. He was hard and aching in seconds, wanting nothing more than to thrust himself into the body he was holding until his passion was spent. But this was their first time; he also wanted to savor this feeling.

He moved away slowly and pushed Rafael on his back again. He tugged upwards at the cloth of the T-shirt Rafael was wearing, and the older man arched upwards and pulled it off. Sonny quickly grabbed the back of his own top and removed it, before throwing the clothing off the edge of the bed. He lay back down, this time on top of Rafael, supporting his weight on his elbows as he savored the feeling of the hot skin of their chests meeting. His nipples tingled from feeling the older man’s chest hair stimulate them, and he gasped. He leaned down again and kissed Rafael. He couldn’t get enough of this.

Their hips moved together in more of a lazy rhythm until Rafael grew impatient and wrapped a thigh over Sonny’s back, pulling him further into him. Their cocks met and thrust together with only two thin pieces of their clothing between them.

Sonny reluctantly pulled away and pushed his boxers down, wanting to be rid of them. He watched as Rafael did the same with his pajama pants, and soon they were naked. Sonny looked at Rafael’s cock, seeing the red length with a pearly drop visible at the slit. His mouth watered. He pushed away the bed clothes and leaned down, crouching towards the bottom of the bed as he zeroed in on his target.

He lifted the dripping organ and saw Rafael arch his back and thrust forward as he enclosed it in his mouth. He had wanted this for so long. He sucked and hummed and felt Rafael thrashing about on the bed as he gave him pleasure.

Soon he felt a hand weave its way into his hair to pull him away, and heard the quiet call from above; “Sonny, Stop.”

He froze and immediately reared back. He had worked too long in SVU to continue when he heard that word, no matter what he wanted. He looked up in alarm to see a soft smile on Rafael’s face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. That was too good. I don’t want it to be over so soon.”

Sonny relaxed again. “That’s okay. It’s just that working in SVU I’m a bit oversensitive to issues of consent.”

Rafael chuckled. “I know what you mean. Don’t worry, I’m not saying no to you. I want this.”

The detective smiled. “Good. So, what is it exactly that you want?”

He saw the arousal on Rafael’s face as he replied. “I want you to fuck me. Is that alright with you?”

Sonny was speechless at that. He nodded, and watched as Rafael leaned to the side and pulled open the top drawer of the bedside table and got out a condom and tube of lube. He passed both items to Sonny, and then drew him into a tender kiss.

“Come on detective. Show me if you’re as talented in the bedroom as in the kitchen.”

It was a challenge Sonny felt happy to accept as he leaned down again to cover Rafael with his body and kiss him with all the passion he was feeling.

***

Rafael groaned. ‘God this feels so good.’ He had been on his own for far too long, and his stamina was gone. Sonny had only been giving him a blow job for a couple of minutes before he had needed to stop the younger man, knowing he wouldn’t last much longer. Now Sonny was making his way over his chest, finding his hot spots as one hand ventured lower, pulling briefly on his cock before moving lower and caressing his balls.

He widened his legs further apart and raised a knee, giving Sonny room and access to his entrance. He heard the lube cap being opened and a few seconds later felt the coldness of the slick lube as Sonny caressed his perineum and then circled his hole. He tensed involuntarily before consciously relaxing.

Sonny glanced up at him but saw what he needed to on his face to enable him to continue. Soon Rafael felt one finger slowly breach him, and bore down on it so it slid further inside without any resistance. It had been too long since he had last felt this. He wanted more, and thrust his hips down to meet Sonny’s hand.

“Impatient, aren’t you?” Sonny murmured.

Rafael kissed him again and lost himself in the twin feelings of kissing and also feeling a finger thrusting in and out of him. Soon it was accompanied by a second finger, and Rafael had to relax again. It felt more uncomfortable but his muscles soon became accustomed to the stretch.

He was thrusting hard and panting by the time Sonny reached further inside him and rubbed across his prostate. Rafael moaned. He had forgotten how good this felt.

“More,” he demanded, hearing Sonny chuckle as he repeated the motion before pulling his hand free.

Rafael tried to contain his impatience as he watched Sonny put on the condom with shaking hands, and then cover it in lube. He moved into position and Rafael immediately wrapped his legs around the detective, using them to pull him in close.

“Are you sure?” Sonny asked, and Rafael fixed him with one of his glares as he reached down and grabbed Sonny’s cock and moved it closer to where he wanted it. The detective just chuckled. “Thought so,” he commented as he leaned down and kissed Rafael as he pushed forward.

Rafael gasped as he accommodated the fullness and felt the heat he hadn’t felt for so long. This felt so good, even though he felt a twinge of pain from the stretch. He saw Sonny watching him and didn’t hesitate to thrust up, quickly matched as the younger man realized he was ready for more.

They moved together in sync, speeding up as the passion grew still further between them. Rafael pulled away from Sonny’s mouth to breathe, and watched as Sonny gasped for breath, a drop of sweat falling from his forehead onto Rafael’s face. He traced one hand down Sonny’s back, caressing the rippling muscles he had been admiring the day before. Now he could touch, and he did so, feeling Sonny arch beneath him into his touch, and hearing the moan that escaped his lips.

Sonny changed his aim minutely until Rafael felt the press of his cock hitting that place deep inside where he wanted him most. “That’s it, there,” he ordered Sonny who obligingly continued to thrust in that direction. The direct stimulation to his prostate made Rafael moan, and he clutched at Sonny as he gasped out his name. He couldn’t stop the spiral of feeling and screamed as he reached his peak, going rigid before slumping down on the bed, his cock untouched between them.

He watched as Sonny stopped moving, but pulled him closer and thrust up again. “Are you close?” he asked, and seeing the nod Sonny gave him, continued to move. “Come for me Sonny,” he whispered.

The response was immediate. Sonny gasped and his hips thrust forward twice more, having lost all rhythm and Rafael could have sworn he felt the heat of his release through the condom as Sonny spent himself. His arms gave way and Rafael laughed as he felt all Sonny’s weight land on his chest. He wrapped his arms around him and rolled the younger man onto his side. They caught their breath over the next few minutes, never letting go of each other.

Sonny pulled away to remove the condom, and they cleaned up with a few tissues. It wasn’t very effective, but it did the job well enough for now. Rafael lay back down and felt Sonny snuggle close to him. The detective had already proved he was a cuddler, and Rafael had no objection, feeling a surge of affection for the man by his side. He fell asleep quickly, hearing soft snores from Sonny as he did so.

***

Sonny woke up when he heard his phone alarm go off, not surprised to feel himself wrapped around Rafael. He remembered what had happened during the night and smiled. It wasn’t a dream; they had really made love. He felt a stirring in his cock again as he remembered the passion they had shared. Shame it was a work day as he would have loved to spend all morning in bed. But maybe they had time. He glanced at his watch and smiled. Yes, they had time.

He tightened his arm more firmly around Rafael and blew into his ear, feeling the twitch as the ADA frowned in his sleep. Sonny did it again, and this time it had the desired effect as the older man woke up.

“Morning,” Sonny said, huskily. A part of him still was unsure what to expect this morning. Although Rafael had agreed to a relationship, it was in the middle of the night when aroused. He may not feel the same way this morning. He needn’t have worried.

Rafael turned onto his back and opened his eyes, looking at Sonny, and smiling. Sonny could read the affection in his eyes. He grinned back.

“So, I don’t know what you’ve got planned for this morning before meeting with the blackmailers, but I’m sure Liv would understand if I was a little late,” he said, and watched as Rafael turned to look at the alarm clock by the side of the bead.

“I’ve got a deposition at 9 but really don’t need to be in before that,” he said. “So I can have a bit of a lie in.” He reached over and Sonny allowed himself to be pulled into a kiss that went from sleepy to arousing in seconds. He moaned and pushed his hips against Rafael’s.

“I can see I’m going to need to get myself some Viagra to keep up with you,” the ADA murmured.

Sonny grinned, and pointedly rubbed his cock against the equally hard erection of the older man. “You don’t seem to be having any problems at the moment,” he said. “Let’s take advantage of that, so we can both go to work with smiles on our faces.” He followed up with a passionate kiss that soon had Rafael groaning and thrusting his hips at him.

Sonny reached round and picked out a condom and the tube of lube that had been hastily thrown back in the open drawer a few hours ago.

Rafael watched him eagerly. “What did you have in mind?” he asked.

He passed the items to Rafael. “Your turn to fuck me. I want to feel you every time I sit down today,” he said in a low voice, watching how Rafael’s eyes darkened.

***

“I can do that,” Rafael said, pushing the bedclothes off them both to the bottom of the bed. He then unwrapped the condom and put it on himself, enjoying seeing Sonny’s eyes on him. He pushed Sonny’s legs apart and admired the hard cock he could see and the heavy balls, as he shuffled closer to his target. He smothered his fingers in lube and inserted one into Sonny, feeling the tightness and heat inside his body as he thrust one finger in and out.

He watched Sonny’s expression and could soon tell when he was ready for more. He added a second finger and then paused, waiting for the discomfort to leave Sonny’s face. He leant down and licked up Sonny’s cock as he did so, hearing the gasp from the younger man. He repeated the movement, this time suckling around his balls. He heard Sonny swear in response, and then pulled back to see his lover’s face, flushed and aroused.

“Give me more,” he demanded, thrusting his hips downwards on the bed to impale himself further.

Rafael responded by crooking his fingers, feeling inside for the hard protrusion he knew was in the vicinity. He found it and stroked his fingers across it, and heard Sonny’s gasp in response. He loved that reaction. A few more minutes of this and Sonny was relaxed enough to take him, and he checked once more, waiting for verbal consent before moving into position and slowly pushing inside the hot channel.

Sonny moaned, and Rafael stretched out above him, kissing and nipping at his neck to distract from the slight pain the intrusion would be causing him. He took deep breaths to stop himself from going further, knowing he needed to wait for Sonny. He did so, and was soon rewarded by his younger lover moving his hips and grabbing his ass to pull him in further.

He took the hint and started thrusting rhythmically, picking up speed gradually and adjusting his angle until the gasp from Sonny told him he had hit his target. He balanced his weight on one elbow and snaked his right hand between their bodies until he reached Sonny’s cock, grasping it firmly before jerking it in time with their movements. He didn’t think he was going to last long, and wanted to take Sonny over the edge with him.

Sure enough, it was only a few minutes later that their rhythm faltered and was lost completely as both men reached their peaks, Rafael coming with a cry of Sonny’s name and almost blacking out as he felt the constriction around him as Sonny came too, covering his hand and their bellies with hot fluid.

His arm gave out and he pulled out as gently as he could before he collapsed onto the bed by the side of Sonny and removing the condom. That was his idea of a good way to start the day. He watched Sonny finally open his eyes and saw the grin on his face as well as the affection in his eyes.

***

Sonny stirred first, not liking the feel of the sticky come on his abdomen. He glanced over at Rafael, seeing the contented smile on his face, and then nudged him in the side. The older man glanced round at him.

“Come on. We need a shower and to get moving or we really will be late.” He stood up and held out a hand to Rafael, and then pulled him to his feet. They walked to the shower together and Sonny just watched as Rafael turned the water on and adjusted the temperature to his preferred heat. It was the first time he had seen the older man naked in good lighting, with the bedroom being dark during the night and barely light now. But the bright bathroom lights left nothing to the imagination.

Rafael glanced round and Sonny realized he had been caught checking him out. Rafael turned self-consciously, and Sonny saw him suck his stomach in. He grinned. That Rafael was vain was not a surprise, but him being uncomfortable being looked at was. He put his arm around Rafael’s middle and caressed the softness of his belly, following the trail of hair as it got lower.

“You look great, Rafael,” he said softly. “And looking at you turns me on,” he added, pressing his groin to Rafael’s hip, so he could feel his cock which was stirring again. He knew he wasn’t going to get fully hard again so soon, but he wasn’t lying, and he wanted Rafael to know it.

Rafael snorted.” I can’t imagine why. I’m older, fatter, and less fit than you.”

“None of that bothers me,” Sonny said. “I like older men, and you enjoy my food, so I wouldn’t count on slimming down. As for being fit, sex is great exercise which I plan to keep us doing as often as possible.”

Rafael turned to fully face Sonny, who made sure his feelings were written on his face. After a couple of seconds he could feel Rafael relax, and he put both arms around his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss.

***

Sonny was sat at the dining room table with a coffee in one hand and clicking the mouse of his laptop with the other when Rafael finally finished dressing. Sonny grinned at him, loving the sight of his new lover dressed up in his suit for work. He’d always loved how Rafael looked, and now, knowing exactly what he was covering up with his expensive suits, he appreciated it even more.

“What are you doing, other than drooling over me?” Rafael asked with a smug look.

“Downloading disclosure forms,” Sonny admitted. He didn’t like to be the one to bring up the subject, considering Rafael had been skittish about getting involved with him, but he felt it was necessary. After all, today was the day Rafael was meeting with the blackmailers and handing over the money. He didn’t want any problem at trial because they had gotten involved for real and not disclosed.

Rafael sighed, and poured a coffee before sitting down next to Sonny, looking more serious now.

“Look I know it’s not great timing, and very quick, but if I am involved with this bust then doubts could be brought up at trial if it becomes known that we are actually involved at this point, not just pretending. I don’t want to risk that. But I can’t really tell Liv to leave me out of it without explaining why. So unless you’ve got any better ideas, I think we should have the appropriate paperwork in place before everything goes down.”

“You’re right,” Rafael said.

Sonny grinned. It was so rare for him to hear that from the ADA.

“I wouldn’t normally consider disclosing so quickly after getting involved with anyone, but as this case is based on blackmailing me for my involvement with you, we do need to get this done. At least we know Jack and Liv won’t have any problems with it. They can’t say a word considering they pushed us into this in the first place.”

Sonny relaxed back into the dining room chair, looking at Rafael carefully. “I didn’t expect you to be so agreeable. I thought I’d have to fight you on it.”

Rafael smirked. “I like to keep you on your toes.” He reached over and took Sonny’s hand in his own. “Once I’ve made my mind up about something, I stick to it, so don’t worry that just because I was reluctant to start anything with you that I have one foot out of the door in this relationship. I committed to it last night and I’m not going to change my mind. I care about you and want to see where this goes.”

Sonny leaned across the table and kissed him passionately. Rafael had just picked up on the very fears he had been feeling, and he was so relieved to hear that they were groundless. He felt himself starting to get aroused again, and pulled away with a groan.

“I wish we had time to let that lead to its natural conclusion, but unfortunately we don’t. I’ve got to get going. I’ll fill in the NYPD forms and email them to Liv before the meet at lunchtime.”

“I’ll do the same for the DA too,” Rafael said with a nod.

Sonny got up and put on his suit coat before swigging down the last of his coffee and putting the mug in the sink. He walked back to Rafael and kissed him tenderly but chastely.

“Look, be careful today all right? I know there has been no indication these men are violent but we don’t want to take any chances. I’ve left a bullet-proof vest for you on the sofa. Please wear it under your shirt.”

“That’s really not necessary,” Rafael started.

“I know it probably isn’t. But I’d be happier if you wore it anyway. Better safe than sorry.”

Rafael nodded and Sonny smiled at him before walking away and leaving for work.


	8. Chapter 8

He got to the precinct to find Liv in an interview with Amanda, which gave him time to finish completing the forms and emailing them. He felt thankful that Rafael had been okay about this. As a lawyer now as well as a cop, he definitely wanted all the ‘t’s crossed and ‘i’s dotted on this case. He got himself another coffee, staying standing in the break room. He wasn’t going to complain of not enough sleep considering why he had had a disturbed night, but he definitely needed the caffeine to keep going. Standing was much more comfortable at the moment too. He smiled to himself. He bet Rafael was in the same boat, and his job involved a lot more sitting than standing. 

Amanda came out of the interview room and headed towards Sonny. He poured her a mug of coffee and she sat down in the chair, pulling one out for Sonny too.

“No thanks,” he said, looking away from her and feigning interest in the snack machine.

“Hmm. Any particular reason you don’t want to sit down today?” she asked and Sonny glanced round and saw a wicked grin on her face. “Things go well with you and Barba last night, did they?”

Sonny sighed. He might have known she would pick up on that quickly. “No comment,” he said, but couldn’t suppress the smile on his face. He knew it was only a matter of time before the others found out about it anyway, considering Liv would have to leave him out of the bust today.

Amanda laughed. “Come on Sonny. I think if my plan to get you two together worked, the least you can do is say ‘thank you Amanda’.”

He grinned at her and said “Thank you Amanda.”

“Guys, come in to my office please. We need to sort out arrangements for the sting later,” Liv called out.

“Saved by the boss,” Sonny said with a grin before strolling out of the room and into Liv’s office. He stayed standing, leaning against the window to the interview room. He had no intention of sitting any more than he had to. Amanda and Fin came in and took the chairs facing the desk.

“Barba has been told to leave the bag of cash underneath one of the seats in the Shakespeare Garden in Central Park. That location is relatively quiet and has multiple points of exit, through the park or on to 79th Street Transverse Road, and we have no idea in which direction they will be coming. The surveillance van will be parked on West Drive and disguised as a maintenance van working on the electricity supply. We will also have plain clothed cops in the park by the other nearby exits. Rollins, you’ll be in the van with me. Fin, you will be based at the police precinct in the park. None of us can be seen inside Central Park though as they will know Barba works with us.

“What about Carisi,” Fin asked.

Liv glanced at Sonny and then back at Fin. “He will stay here and monitor communications. As Barba’s ‘boyfriend’, he can’t be seen anywhere near the bust, and it is possible they have someone watching him to make sure he isn’t involved.”

Fin nodded. “What time do we kick off?”

“The meet’s happening at 12.30. We will be in place from 11.30. Barba’s on his way now as he needs to speak to our suspect on the Adams case, and I will confirm the details with him. He knows what to do though. Drop the bag and leave. We wait for the blackmailers to pick up the cash and then move in to arrest them. It should be simple enough. So do what you need to do. We leave at 11.”

The three detectives filed out, with Sonny in the rear. He wasn’t altogether surprised to hear Liv call out to him before he left her office though.

“Carisi, wait a minute,” she said, and he closed the door, turning around to face his boss.

“I saw your email,” she said. “That’s a big step. This case was meant to be about you two pretending to be in a relationship, not it actually turning into a real one.”

Sonny smiled. “Yeah I know Lieu, but what can I say? We spent a lot of time together. I always liked him and it seems I grew on him too. We knew with this case we needed to make sure all the paperwork was in place which is why you’ve got the forms now.”

Liv smiled at him. “You’re obviously both better actors than I gave you credit for. I never would have guessed last night at the bar that you were actually a real couple.”

He laughed. “Well we weren’t then. This is a very recent development.”

He saw her eyebrows shoot up. “Your relationship is les than a day old and you’ve put in papers already – that’s impressive. No-one can say you didn’t disclose soon enough.”

“Yeah, well this case has definitely shown that being open and honest about these things is the way to go.”

“That’s true. Thanks for being so upfront about it.”

“No problem, Lieu,” Sonny replied, walking out as she dismissed him and grinning as he saw the object of their discussion walk into the squad room. He went up to him and poked him gently in the side. Then he frowned.

“I thought I told you to put on the vest,” he said.

“I said I’d wear it for the meet, not that I’d have it on all day. It’ll ruin the cut of my suit, not to mention being uncomfortable. I’ll put it on later.” Rafael promised.

“Make sure you do,” Sonny grumbled.

Amanda laughed. “I see you’ve got the nagging boyfriend part down pat, Carisi,” she said, and both men glared at her.She wasn’t deterred. “Don’t mind me,” she added, “I think it’s sweet.”

Sonny huffed and made his way to his desk, while Rafael walked towards Liv’s office. Sonny couldn’t take his eyes off Rafael’s ass as he walked away, remembering what he had done to it this morning.

“Stop drooling,” Amanda commented.

He glared at her again and stuck his middle finger up at her, before turning to his computer. He could hear her still laughing as he opened up his email.

***

Two hours later, Rafael was in the park, heading towards the Shakespeare Garden. He had done as Sonny had asked and put on the bullet-proof vest under his shirt. Despite his undershirt, it still felt as if it was rubbing and he couldn’t wait to get it off. It didn’t show under his vest, suit coat and winter coat though, and he had a scarf on as well. It was cold today so this abundance of clothing didn’t look odd. He sat on the correct seat as instructed and pushed the bag containing the cash underneath it. The money had been marked just in case the blackmailers did escape with it, and he had it in a nondescript black carryall. There weren’t many people around but there was always the risk of a nosy passerby picking it up and walking off with it so he pushed it further out of sight. They couldn’t afford to lose the blackmailers now.

He stood up and looked around himself quickly before walking away, his part having been done. He quickly walked to the exit and was just by Central Park West when his phone rang. He answered it to hear Buchannan’s voice wanting to meet him to arrange a plea deal for one of his clients. Rafael stopped and checked his diary to see when he was free and had just finished making arrangements with his least favorite defense attorney when he was grabbed from behind.

He felt the press of a gun which was pointed at his chest and froze immediately. The man started to drag him backwards, and he felt his anger grow. He had done what they had asked. Why the hell had they stopped him?

“We told you no cops,” the man growled at him. Rafael wondered what had gone wrong, and then saw Amanda and Liv get out of the white van nearby, guns raised. He knew the ruse was over.

“I’m dating a cop. Did you really expect me to roll over and just give in to your blackmail? You’re scum, and you deserve to be put away. I’m glad to be the one to put an end to your plans to ruin even more men’s lives.” Rafael was furious and knew that he was probably just inflaming the situation, but couldn’t stop himself. He tried to turn in the man’s grasp and then he felt a hard blow to his face. He fell and tried to catch himself but couldn’t. Then he felt another blow to his chest and heard the sound of a gunshot.

‘Oh my God, he’s shot me’ went through his mind and he couldn’t process it. He curled over into a ball but the man grabbed him and he felt himself being lifted up and thrown in the back of a van. He heard the slam of the van door and all around him went black as the light from the open doorway was eliminated. He concentrated on trying to breathe, and then felt an agonizing pain in his side.

“You fag; you filthy immigrant. Why did you have to ruin everything? Why couldn’t you just keep your trap shut and pay up like everybody else?” the man snarled.

Rafael’s vision was clearing and he felt his coat opened and saw the man spot the bullet-proof, before he straightened to kick him as he continued with the verbal abuse. Rafael curled up into a ball to try and protect himself and felt blood dripping down his face.

***

Sonny was listening intently to the radio when all hell broke loose. He couldn’t tell what was happening, but he thought he heard a gunshot, followed by Liv’s voice calling out “Shots fired. Everyone move in now.”

His mouth went dry and his legs felt like jello. He sat down with a thump, not even registering the ache in his posterior. He breathed in shallow breaths, wishing with every fiber of his being that he was there, and could do something, or at least see what was happening. He heard Liv shouting orders and then Amanda’s voice.

“Carisi? Can you find out if Barba was wearing that bullet-proof vest you nagged him about earlier?”

He swallowed hard before answering. “Yeah, I can. What’s happening Rollins?”

“Something spooked the blackmailers. They had a van waiting and Barba stopped to take a call. The guy who had gotten the money grabbed him. Barba mouthed off at him and got a fist to the face, and then the guy shot him in the chest. He got in the van and dragged Barba with him and the van drove off.”

“Is he okay?” Sonny asked in panic.

“I don’t know. There is a small amount of blood at the scene but not a lot. I think his nose was bleeding from the blow to the head and the blood is probably from that. But if you find out if he was wearing a vest, that would give us more information. We’re going after the van now and have a BOLO out for it. They won’t get away and we will get Barba back for you.”

“Just keep me informed,” he asked.

“Will do,” she replied.

He put the radio down and took a few deep breaths before picking up the phone and ringing Rafael’s office. As expected, Carmen answered the phone. Rafael had told her about the sting the previous week when the photos had arrived, so she was aware of what had been happening today. 

“It’s Sonny,” he said. “Did Rafael put on the bullet-proof vest do you know before he went out?”

“Hi Sonny,” she replied. “Yes, he did. He was grouching about the straps chafing him and you being an overprotective pain in his ass,” she confided.

He almost smiled at that. Considering what they did last night, he was sure he was a pain in his ass today. But his mood darkened as he thought about what would have happened if he hadn’t insisted on the vest.

“Yeah well it’s a good job I did nag him. The bust didn’t go as planned and one of the men took a shot at him. We wanted to confirm he was wearing the vest.”

“Oh my God, is he alright? Why can’t you tell if he is wearing it or not, or ask him?” Carmen said in a high voice, and he could hear the panic in it.

“The men grabbed him. We will get him back as we’re in pursuit, but it may take some time,” he said. He knew that Carmen had worked for Rafael for years and was quite close to him.

“I’ll cancel his appointments for the rest of the day,” she said, and he could hear the fear in her voice.

“I’ll keep you updated with any information,” he promised.

***

Liv wiped her sweaty hands on her pants and took a deep breath. It was always difficult in a chase situation with hostages involved, doubly so when it was someone she knew. She listened to the radio comments from the three cars closing in on the van, knowing that where she was, she couldn’t do anything. She had been told that a beat cop on his break had been spotted near the meet location and that is what they thought had spooked the blackmailers. Just bad luck.

“Barba was wearing a bullet-proof vest, Carisi just confirmed it,” Rollins said as she walked up to Liv.

Liv nodded her acknowledgement. “That’s good news at least. The fact that they were so willing to shoot him, not knowing he was wearing one though says a lot about their desperation. Let’s just hope we get Barba back before they decide to take another shot at him.”

“Yeah. I don’t want to have to tell Carisi we lost him, not when they’ve just found each other,” Amanda commented. “Plus, you know, he’s a decent ADA.”

“Yes, he is.”

Just then a different voice on the radio interrupted them.

“Lt Benson? It’s Sgt Morris. We were watching the nearest exit to 79th Street Transit Road and saw a man behaving suspiciously.Instead of running when the gunshot rang out, he started towards the sound, then rang a cell number before stopping and running the opposite way again. We stopped him just in case. Turns out his driving license was used this morning to rent the van the blackmailers left in. He’s definitely one of the team. We have him in custody if you want to take over the interrogation.”

“Thank you Sgt Morris, that’s great news. I’m on my way.”

***

Sonny was pacing the squad room when Amanda and Liv got back with a man in tow. He was in his 50s, with dirty blonde hair and a bad attitude, from the way he was acting. The two women took him straight to interrogation, and Liv fixed him with a stare as she saw him following. He stopped in observation and gestured to the radio.

“I’ll let you know if there are any developments,” he said. He knew the only way he could cope in this situation is if he knew what was going on. That meant listening to the radio and watching the interview.

He listened to Liv start the interrogation.

“So, David Winters, you’re in a lot of trouble. We know you are part of the group of blackmailers that has been working in the city, and this morning went to collect money you extorted from ADA Barba. As well as being caught close to the scene acting suspiciously, you rented the van that is currently in a chase with NYPD, after one of your colleagues attempted to murder ADA Barba and abducted him. Those are felonies.”

“I didn’t shoot no-one,” he said grouchily, slumping down in his seat. “I had nothing to do with that.”

“Maybe not, but as a conspirator in the felony, you can be held responsible, and charged with the crimes your friends committed. At the moment that is attempted murder, but if ADA Barba is killed, that will go up to murder.Plus, it’s a hate crime, which adds on years. So it’s in your interest to make sure that he is returned without any more harm coming to him.”

“He’s a fag, and deserves what’s coming to him,” he snarled.

“And you just made the hate crime conviction a slam dunk. He’s a hard working officer of the court, and believe me, judges give harsh sentences to those individuals who harm their own as a deterrent. I understand you don’t care what happens to him, but what about you? If you ever want to get out you’d better start co-operating, now.”

Just then, Carisi heard a call on the radio. The van had driven into the garage of a construction site on the lower east side. The Hostage Negotiation Team was currently on route, along with ESU. He texted the update to Liv, who glanced at her phone and then nodded at him through the one way mirror.

“Let’s start with something easy David. We know you have 2 accomplices – the man driving the van and the one who grabbed Barba. They are currently barricaded into a construction site. We need to contact them. Now I have your cell phone here, and can go through all the contacts until I find those men, but you can save me the trouble. Which number should we try first?”

“What’s in it for me?” he grudgingly asked.

“We tell the DA you cooperated. Whoever speaks up gets the best deal, I’m sure you know that, and right now is your only chance.”

“Is it on 265 East Houston Street? That’s where Brian works when the project isn’t held up by red tape.”

“Brian who?” Liv asked.

“Brian Jones. His number is the first one on my speed dial. He’s the one who was driving.”

“Who’s the other man?”

“James Sherwell. He has a nasty temper. He’s the one who went for the money. His number’s in my cell too.”

“Thank you David, that’s a good start. So now talk to me about where you are running this operation from.”

Sonny walked away to get the cell numbers from the phone that Liv had left on the side as she walked into the interrogation room, and quickly radioed the officer in charge of the scene.

***

Rafael came to when he was dragged out of the van onto the floor of a building site. He winced as his body hit the ground and he curled in on himself and took deep breaths to try and calm himself down. He was still alive, and not seriously injured so far, but he wasn’t convinced he would stay that way. He listened to the two men he could hear shouting at each other.

“For God’s sake man, what the hell did you do that for? Shooting an ADA and then abducting him is way more than we bargained for. I don’t want anything to do with this shit. You’re out of your mind!”

“Calm down Bri. He’s alive, and he’s good for negotiating. We need him to get out of here.”

“Just don’t do anything else to him James. He’s no good to us dead.”

Rafael heard a cell phone ring and opened his eyes cautiously, to see two white men pacing nearby. One pulled his cell from his pocket and answered it with a snarled “What!”

He couldn’t hear the answer but the man glared at his companion who was indicating he wanted to know what was going on, and then he put the cell on speaker.

“We know who you both are – Brian Jones and James Sherwell. We have the building surrounded. We want everyone to get out of here calmly without anyone being injured, and I’m here to ensure that happens. Can you tell me how ADA Barba is?”

The shorter man glared at his companion holding the cell. “See, this is all your fault James. Now what are we going to do?”

“We want all the cops to back away from here, and a clear route all the way out of the city to Williamsburg Bridge.”

“I can make that happen, but it will take time. In the meantime, I really need to know what the situation is with ADA Barba. Can I speak to him please?”

Rafael saw both men look at him, before the man with the cell phone growled into it “No you can’t right now. Maybe once you’ve moved those cops away from here. And if you don’t hurry up, maybe you’ll never get to speak to him.” He felt a wave of fear wash over him at what that could mean, seeing the menace in the man’s eyes.

***

Liv walked out of interrogation and Sonny immediately jumped up from where he had been checking the messages on the cell phone.

“What else did he say? Is he cooperating?”

Liv nodded. “Yes, he is. He says they don’t have a computer with all the information on about what they have been doing, but use a storage space on the dark web, almost like Dropbox. He’s given me the details and I’ve passed it on to computer crimes. There is a file there with the names of all the other men working for them, the ones taking the photos. They are being rounded up as we speak. Once this hostage crisis is over, the case is pretty sewn up.”

“I’ve been listening over the radio, but I can’t stay here Lieu. I can’t do anything as I can’t be involved in the case, and I’ve got to be at the scene when they get Rafael out of there. I won’t interfere, but this is something I really need,” Sonny begged. He knew how he sounded, but he hadn’t been able to think of anything else. When the men were captured or killed, he had to be there to see Rafael, to hold him in his arms. He couldn’t be miles away, waiting helplessly at the precinct.

Luckily Liv could tell how he was feeling and nodded her head. “Okay. I’ll let the captain at the scene know you’re on your way.”

“Thanks Lieu,” he said as he grabbed his jacket and sped away.


	9. Chapter 9

The arguing wasn’t letting up. Rafael listened to the more reasonable tones of the one called ‘Bri’ who was arguing for them to give themselves up before it got any worse. James was the angry one, and was determined to get out of there and not give in. It was getting heated, and then they started exchanging blows. Rafael managed to crawl away from them towards the shelter of the van. This distracted the men, and allowed James to get in a blow to Brian’s head. He dropped like a stone, and then Rafael heard footsteps approaching him.

“Where do you think you’re going, faggot? You’re mine until I get out of here and I’ll do with you what I want. You’ve been nothing but trouble and I blame you for all this mess.”

The man grabbed him and pushed him on his back, stamping on his abdomen, and knocking the air out of him. He curled over onto his side with a gasp as he tried to get air back into his lungs.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement. Brian had recovered from the blow and was getting to his feet. ‘Thank God’, Rafael thought. ‘He’s more reasonable and will stop James’. But he didn’t. instead he ran towards an emergency exit 20 foot away. James pulled the gun out of his waistband and shot at the back of the retreating man, catching him in the side. It didn’t stop Brian, but did slow him down. He stumbled the last few steps and managed to get out of the door.

James fixed Rafael with a look and he froze. He was left with the psycho man who had no hesitation in shooting. Definitely not good for him.

The radio immediately erupted into life.

“We heard a gunshot. What was that? James – Brian – you need to respond. If I don’t hear from you I have no choice but to send in ESU. I don’t want to do that, so you need to answer me.”

“I’m here; the gun went off accidentally. No harm done,” James said as he walked toward the windows of the building which were covered in plastic, glancing out of the side. “I still see cops though.”

“I’m getting them moved, but things have changed. I need confirmation that ADA Barba is still alive before we negotiate any further.”

James sighed and slowly walked back to where Rafael lay, leaning down and holding out the cell phone so it was near his mouth. “Speak,” he ordered. “Let them know you’re still alive, at least so far.”

Rafael swallowed and cleared his throat before he could get anything out. “Hello,” he said. “This is Rafael Barba. I’m…okay,” he said, then watched as James straightened up and walked away again.

“Satisfied? Now get those cops out of my sight,” he snarled before hanging up the cell.

***

Sonny heaved a sigh of relief as he confirmed to the captain that it was Rafael’s voice. Although he sounded weak and not himself, it was definitely him. As long as he was alive, that was the main thing. They could get through anything else.

Just then they saw a figure emerge from the side of the building, stumbling forward with one hand up and the other clutched to his side, where blood was dripping between his fingers and leaving a trail behind him. He was surrounded by cops with their weapons trained on him within seconds, and once they confirmed he was unarmed, the medics who were on the scene went to him and soon had him on a stretcher.

The captain walked up to the ambulance which Brian Jones was being loaded on to. Sonny followed. The captain glanced at him but didn’t say anything.

“What happened in there?” the captain asked.

Brian took off the oxygen mask which he had been breathing through. “It’s James. He’s gone mad. I knew he had a temper but nothing like this. It was meant to be a simple job – collect the money and leave. Grabbing that ADA and hurting him was all James, not me. He saw a cop at the park and just saw red. I tried to get him to give himself up, for us to walk out of there, and he wouldn’t. He just hit me and then started stamping on Barba. I took my chance and ran out of there, and he shot me in the back. I can’t believe he did that. He was out of control.”

“How is Barba?” Sonny asked.

“I don’t know. He had a broken nose I think from the park and James was kicking him in the van. The gun shot was stopped by a vest. But he’s alone with James now, and God knows what he’s doing to him.” Sonny nodded and stepped back. That was what he was afraid of.

“Tell us about the exit you came out of. Is it closed? Does it lead directly into the room where the men are?” the captain wanted to know.

Brian told them that the exit hadn’t latched behind him, he didn’t think, and that there was a corridor between there and the main room. Sonny guessed he had correctly assumed his best course of action was to be as cooperative as possible. Once the captain determined he had as much information as he was going to get, he gave permission for the EMTs to get out of there, and the ambulance left.

ESU were poring over the detailed map of the construction, and the captain pointed out the exit and the details that James had given him. Sonny held back, knowing he couldn’t go in with them, although he was determined to be at Rafael’s side as soon as physically possible after the raid had completed.

The conversation between ESU and the captain didn’t take long, and they were all in full agreement that they couldn’t delay any longer, but had to go in now. Sonny held his breath as he watched the screen at the command center which showed the feed from the ESU lead’s head camera.

They crept along the corridor and then they put a snake camera around the door into the main room of the building. Sonny couldn’t really make out what they could see, but he could hear moans from inside the room, which he thought could be from Rafael. His stomach clenched even as he tried to convince himself that it was good as it proved he was still alive. He watched as the ESU lead slowly opened the door, and one by one the squad members filed into the room, spreading out, all of them with their guns facing the van and the sounds they could hear.

Sonny found himself clenching his fists, and almost breaking the skin in the palms of his hands with his fingernails, as the tension rose inside him. He heard a gunshot, and held his breath until there was verbal confirmation over the radio that the suspect was down, and the hostage alive. He glanced at the captain who nodded, then set off for the building at a run.

He easily found his way inside and went straight to Rafael’s side, finding him curled up on the floor. Sonny stroked the side of his face and called his name softly. “Rafael, it’s Sonny. Open your eyes please.”

Slowly his eyes opened and Sonny could see tears in the shining green orbs. “That’s it,” he said. “You’re safe now. We’re going to get you to the hospital and treated. Can you straighten your legs? It would be easier to get you on the stretcher like that.”

Rafael groaned as he moved, but he managed to get into a better position, and two EMTs pushed the stretcher under him and then rolled him onto it. They quickly lifted him and Sonny took Rafael’s hand in his own as he continued to murmur reassurances to him. He looked a mess, with blood matted on his face from where he had taken a blow to the nose, and he was obviously in a lot of pain, but he was alive and away from the clutches of James Sherwell, and that was the main thing.

***

They got to the hospital quickly and then Sonny was banished to the waiting room while the doctors examined Rafael. He paced up and down, and then distracted himself by ringing Liv, and also Carmen. Within 15 minutes Liv and Amanda were at the hospital. Amanda got him a coffee and he slumped down, glancing at his watch again for the third time in the last 5 minutes.

“How long does it take for heaven’s sake,” he muttered. “He’s been in there half an hour already without any word.”

Just then a doctor came out of the resuscitation area and called out “Rafael Barba?”

Sonny jumped to his feet and walked forward, as did Liv and Amanda.

“How is he,” he asked eagerly.

“He’s stable. He has suffered a broken nose which we have set and should heal without any problems. He has a cracked rib where the gun shot impacted the vest he was wearing, and numerous contusions from where it appears he was kicked repeatedly.”

He paused before speaking again. “Am I right in thinking you are from SVU?” he asked quietly.

“Yes, we are. I’m Lt Benson, commanding officer of SVU. What seems to be the issue?”

“I am concerned that he could have been sexually assaulted as well. He passed out when we reset his nose and wasn’t very coherent before that so we are unable to verify with him, although often men who have been assaulted don’t admit it. I would like to do a rape kit.”

Sonny inhaled deeply, stunned to think that Rafael could have been attacked in that way. He had assumed that James had only beaten Rafael up, not done anything more to him. But then it occurred to him to ask more questions, remembering what they had done the previous night.

“Doctor,” Sonny asked, hesitantly. “Can you tell me what makes you think he was sexually assaulted?”

The doctor looked at Liv who nodded, before turning back to him. “He is showing signs of inflammation and swelling in the anal region which can be indicative of sexual assault.”

“But no tearing or blood or semen?” Sonny persisted.

“No.”

“Could this be due to consensual anal sex within the last day?” he asked, feeling his face flushing.

The doctor looked at him thoughtfully before nodding. “Yes, that is entirely possible.”

“Don’t bother with the rape kit,” Sonny said, studiously not making eye contact with anyone. “You can confirm with him when he wakes up, but I don’t think it will be necessary.”

The doctor smiled slightly. “That’s good news. Physical abuse is easier to recover from than sexual abuse. He is being transferred to a room. I’ll get the nurse to tell you when he is settled and ready to receive visitors.”

“Thanks doc,” Sonny said, before leaning against the wall and carefully stirring his coffee, not looking up at either of his colleagues. He wasn’t happy he had had to have that conversation and that both Amanda and Liv now knew what he and Rafael had done. But he couldn’t have let the doctor go on believing that Rafael had been raped.

Suddenly Amanda laughed. Sonny glared at her. “Sorry,” she said, “Here was I thinking this morning that it was in character that Barba was the dominant one topping, and yet here he is with a sore ass as well as you.”

Sonny glared at her, and she subsided. “I don’t appreciate comments about my sex life,” he hissed at her in a quiet but menacing voice. “I don’t ask you about yours, so kindly keep out of mine. And stop laughing!”

She held up a hand to him. “Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t help it. Release of tension and all that. If I had a sex life I’d tell you about it. I’m just jealous. Not of you or Barba, of course, but of you actually getting some, unlike me.”

“Rollins, shut up,” Liv said. Sonny had forgotten that she was there, and his face flushed again at knowing Liv too knew all about his sex life. He wished the floor would swallow him up. They subsided into an awkward silence, and time went by far too slowly.

***

Rafael woke up and had no idea where he was. He could feel an aching pain all over, with throbbing in his nose. Oh yes, now he remembered, he was in the hospital and the doctor had set his broken nose. He slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the bright light overhead. The light softened almost immediately, and then he felt his hand enclosed in another one, and a gentle kiss put on his palm.

“Hi Rafael, how’re you doing?” Sonny’s voice asked.

He looked round and saw Sonny sat in the chair next to the bed, looking tired and haggard, but he was there. He breathed in deeply and felt a stabbing in his chest.

“I’m okay I think. Pain all over, especially my nose, and it hurts to breathe,” he confirmed.

“Yeah it will. You’ve got a cracked rib from the bullet, and a broken nose, as well as bruising pretty much all over. Did James do anything else to you?” he asked.

Rafael frowned. “He punched me in the face and shot me at the park, then kicked me and stomped on me. That’s enough don’t you think?” he added snippily.

Sonny sighed. “Yes, it is. I just wanted to check as the doctor was concerned he had sexually assaulted you.”

Rafael tried to move to sit up, only to slump back down again as all his muscles screamed at him to not move. “Why the hell did he think that! He never touched me that way.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Sonny said, looking uncomfortable. “I told him it was unlikely, and he confirmed that the signs he saw could be due to consensual sex.”

Rafael suddenly realized why he looked so uncomfortable. “Oh God. From last night.”

“Yeah,” Sonny confirmed.

“Please tell me this conversation was just between you and the doctor.” He had always kept his private life just that, and hated the idea that anyone would know details about his sex life.

Sonny didn’t reply immediately, but just shook his head, not looking at Rafael.

He sighed. “Who was there?” he asked.

“Amanda and Liv,” Sonny said quietly.

Rafael winced. “I suppose it could be worse. At least my Mom wasn’t there as well.”

“No, she’s on her way but was on a school trip so had to get cover before she could leave. Liv spoke to her earlier,” Sonny said.

“Is it all over – or are there still some of those scumbags out there?” Rafael asked, wanting to be sure before he could relax and wallow in the pain he was feeling.

“It’s over. James Sherwell is dead – ESU took him out. Brian Jones is in surgery for a bullet to the side. The other member of the crew, David Winters, was in the park and caught pretty quickly. He gave up the information that has enabled computer crimes to find the files they had on their targets. It also has a list of the photographers they had working for them, so the whole case is pretty close to being wrapped up. Shouldn’t be any problems at trial, assuming they don’t make a deal before that.”

“Good,” Rafael said, eyeing the pitcher of water by his bed. Sonny poured a glass and held it to his mouth, supporting his neck and head so he could sip some of the cool water.

He lay back after just a few sips, exhausted. He looked at Sonny seriously. “Thank you. You saved my life by insisting I wore the vest. That bullet would have killed me.”

He could see tears in Sonny’s eyes at the thought. “You’re welcome. I’m just so glad you did wear it. I couldn’t bear to lose you,” he said in a low voice. Rafael could hear the sincerity in it.

A knock was heard at the door, and Liv popped her head in. “Good to see you’re awake Rafael. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” he groused. “What the hell went wrong?”

Liv shook her head. “A cop on his break was in the park and seeing him spooked James Sherwell. But the rest of the group are in custody, and have cooperated so far.”

“Shame I had to be hospitalized in order for you to catch them,” he bitched, glaring at her.

She smiled. “You’re not going to let me forget this are you?”

“No, I’m not. I think I deserve to hold this over you, and Jack too. I’ve not forgotten how he forced me into participating.”

“I’m sure you haven’t. But it seems to me that you’ve gained from this operation as well,” she said, glancing at Sonny. “Well if there’s anything you need, get in touch, but otherwise I’ll be going. I’m glad you’re going to be okay.” She smiled and patted his leg on the bed, and he could see the sincerity in her eyes. He nodded at her.

“Bye Liv.”


	10. Chapter 10

Sonny stepped out of the room with his boss just to check if she needed him to go back to the precinct. He had no intention of leaving Rafael and was prepared to argue his case if necessary, but it soon became evident that it wasn’t.

“Keep an eye on him Carisi, and I’ll see you in work tomorrow okay?” she said.

Sonny smiled at her. “Yeah, Lieu, thanks.”

Liv laughed. “Don’t thank me. You do realize this means you’ll get to meet his mom today? Seems you’re hitting all the important milestones of this relationship within the first 24 hours. She’s a formidable woman, Lucia Barba.”

Sonny swallowed hard. He had heard about her before and was a bit apprehensive about meeting her. He was saved from saying anything by Amanda walking up to them, putting her cell away.

“How’s Barba?” she asked.

“Grumpy and complaining,” replied Liv.

Amanda smiled. “No change to usual then. I hoped he’d be mellower now he’s getting laid.”

Sonny glared at her. “He was until he got shot at and beaten up. I bet you’d be grouchy too.”

She nodded. “Fair point. You’ll have your hands full looking after him until he’s recovered.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I think you’re right about that.”

“Well I think this is our cue to leave,” Liv said, gesturing to a tall dark-haired woman getting off the elevator. “Good luck Carisi.” She smiled at him and walked away, with Amanda looking confused next to her.

Sonny sighed again and then plastered a smile on his face as he strode forward to meet Lucia Barba.

“Mrs. Barba, I’m Detective Carisi, Sonny,” he said reaching out and shaking hands with her. “Your son is in this room. The doctors say he should be fine. He has a cracked rib, broken nose and bruising all over, but he’s expected to make a full recovery.” He walked forward and opened the door for her, exchanging glances with Rafael as he held the door open for the older lady to enter.

“I’ll just go and get a coffee. Would you like a drink, Mrs. Barba?” he asked. She agreed that a coffee would be nice, and he ducked out, leaving Rafael looking reproachfully after him.

*** 

“What happened Rafi? How did you get hurt?”

“It was a case mami. I was working undercover and one of the bad guys grabbed me. I’ll be fine, as Sonny said.”

“Undercover? You’re a lawyer, not police! Why were you undercover?”

Rafael sighed. He hated when his mom was like this – like a dog with a bone, she didn’t let things go. “It’s a long story mom. The criminals were targeting ADAs so Jack asked me to help by being bait. It wasn’t expected to get violent. But I’m safe, and will be fine.”

“If you’re safe then why is that detective still here? Is he guarding you?” she asked suspiciously.

Rafael swallowed, not sure quite how to answer. He decided that the truth was the best option. “He’s here because he cares about me, not as my bodyguard. We’ve become close on this case, and have just started seeing each other.”

Lucia Barba leaned back in the chair that she was sat in, and watched him carefully. She could see straight through him sometimes. “So he’s your boyfriend, that’s what you’re saying.”

He winced. “I think I’m a bit old to have that moniker applied mom, but I suppose that it is an accurate description.”

“Hmm. He’s younger than you, and a lot taller. If he’s a detective, doesn’t that give a conflict of interest?”

Rafael sighed. “We’ve disclosed so there is no conflict. Yes, he’s taller and 10 years younger than me, and he’s also a great cook. We have plenty in common. For example, he is also a lawyer, having studied at night school while working as a detective. That’s not easy to do.” He stopped when he saw her smirk.

“You’re defending him. That shows you care about him. You only do that with men you have feelings for. I must say it’s nice to meet one of your boyfriends. It’s been a while since I’ve had that pleasure.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s been a while since there has been anyone in my life for you to meet. I’ve been busy with work.”

“Well your young man seems to have managed a law degree and working full time, so I don’t buy that you haven’t had the opportunity for a social life. It’s time you settled down a bit and stopped working so hard.”

“Mom,” he groaned. They had had this conversation far too many times, despite the fact that she worked just as hard as he did, and she was decades older. She’d be going on about grandchildren next.

As if she could read his mind, she continued. “So, has he been married, had any children?”

“Don’t start mom,” he said, getting impatient with her. He was just about to give her the usual lecture about his thoughts on her interfering when Sonny walked back in the room. He smiled at his ‘young man’, who passed over the second coffee cup in his hands.

Rafael sniffed the pleasant smell of coffee. He usually had at least a cup an hour, and it was lunchtime since he’d had any.

“No, you can’t have any, Rafael,” Sonny commented. “I did ask the nurse, but she said no caffeine until tomorrow.”

Lucia Barba laughed at that. “I can see you are going to be very good for my son Sonny, and you certainly seem to know him well enough.”

Sonny looked confused, and Lucia answered the question he hadn’t asked. “So, you’re Rafael’s boyfriend. I must admit you’re not what I would have expected.”

“What did you expect?” Sonny asked. Rafael decided to keep out of this conversation. Sonny could usually deal with his barbed comments well enough, so it would be interesting to see if he could also cope with his mom’s.

“Someone more like Rafael, like his past men have been,” she replied.

“Well, maybe it’s good I’m not, as those relationships haven’t worked out,” Sonny retorted. Rafael grinned at him quickly, which he knew Sonny spotted.

Lucia laughed again. “I like you,” she said decisively. “Don’t take any crap from him, and care for him even when he tries to push you away, and we’ll get on well.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sonny said as he relaxed marginally in his chair. Rafael scowled. He could see in no time they would be ganging up on him.

*** 

His mom hadn’t stayed that long, having reassured herself that he wasn’t too badly injured, and having duties at the charter school she managed. He was glad to see her go, as by that point she and Sonny were getting on like a house on fire, with her repeating stories from his childhood, much to his lover’s delight.

Since then he had been napping thanks to the painkillers, and had been thankful for them. He had moaned to Sonny about not wanting to be there, but realized that it was necessary when he tried to make it to the bathroom. Even with Sonny’s help, he struggled and every step was painful. It didn’t help him feel better when the nurse instructed him he had to pee into a jug they had left in the bathroom. The nurse was adamant though, and threatened to catheterize him if he didn’t comply. That keep him quiet. He definitely didn’t want that. He was hanging on to the comment from the doctor that he should be able to go home tomorrow, as long as there were no signs of kidney damage.

Jack McCoy turned up around dinnertime, just when Sonny had gone to get something to eat. He sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair and looked Rafael over carefully.

“How are you doing Rafael? I was concerned when Liv called me and told me that the bust had gone so badly wrong.”

Rafael looked grumpily at him, torn between pointing out that he was in this position because Jack had forced him into this undercover operation, and being polite to his boss, who was now very much in his debt.

“I’m not great. Bruises all over – I can’t even get to the bathroom without help – as well as a cracked rib and broken nose. I deserve hazard pay for this. I would have been killed if I hadn’t had a bulletproof vest on.”

Jack nodded uncomfortably. “I know. I never would have suggested it to you if I had thought this could happen. There was no indication that the men were violent.”

“Suggested it? I don’t remember it being a suggestion. You really didn’t give me any choice.” Rafael couldn’t help himself at Jack’s choice of words.

Jack looked him in the eye. “I know. I’m sorry Rafael. But if it’s any consolation, I don’t think it will go to trial. O’Dwyer is handling it, and both men’s lawyers are apparently pushing for deals, as he is threatening attempted murder charges for them. That gives him good bargaining power, so it should all be over soon. Once that is finalized, the files can be destroyed, and I know you will want the photos of you and Detective Carisi eliminated.”

Rafael narrowed his eyes. “Why do you know anything about the photos?”

Jack held up a hand. “I haven’t seen them and no-one is gossiping about them. Liv mentioned that both of you wanted the files destroyed, and in the meantime I have asked cyber crimes to limit the access to all the sensitive material associated with the case.”

He looked up as Sonny entered the room, then hesitated when he saw Jack. “Oh, sorry, please excuse me,” Sonny said hastily.

Jack waved him forward. “No, do come in Detective Carisi. As I was about to say to Rafael, I really appreciate the efforts both of you have made on this case. I know we asked you to put yourselves in uncomfortable situations, and you did so to help us catch these blackmailers. This will save many other men who would otherwise have been targeted. Thank you.”

Sonny looked pleased, as having personal praise from the DA was quite a coup, but Rafael wasn’t quite so easily won over.

“I hope you remember this in future when the shit cases come up. I could do with an easy time for a bit, especially with these injuries to recover from.”

“Don’t worry Rafael, you take off as much time as you need, and when you come back, I’ll have the easiest cases for you, although personally I think you’ll get bored with them quickly. You need a challenge, something to get your teeth into.”

“Detective Carisi,” Jack said, turning to him, “Is there anything I can do for you? I know you have passed the Bar first time, which is a great feat, especially when working full time as a detective. If you want any more experience shadowing any of the ADAs, then please let me know. I am aware that you have stated you want to remain a detective for now, but if you decide you do want to become an ADA in the future, then contact me.”

“Thank you Mr. McCoy, I really appreciate that. I wouldn’t mind more experience shadowing to be honest, as long as Lt Benson can spare me from SVU.” Sonny was almost vibrating in his chair with enthusiasm, and Rafael saw a wry smile pass over his boss’s face. He wasn’t used to dealing with anyone so keen, as most of the ADAs were jaded by now.

“I’ll sort something out with Lt Benson and will be in touch. In the meantime, I’m guessing you will be helping out Rafael during his recovery, considering the forms he emailed to me this morning. That will keep you busy. I’m pleased if this undercover sting has been of benefit to you both personally. I hope things work out well for you.”

Jack got up and said his goodbyes, nodding to Rafael and shaking Sonny’s hand. The detective was still grinning from ear to ear at the praise from the DA.

“Oh wow, did you hear that Rafael? He’s going to get me some more experience, and help me if I want to move to the DA’s office. That’s great!” Sonny enthused.

“Yeah, well he can be great at times, but also a bastard when he wants to be, like when he forced me into this operation,” Rafael grumbled.

Sonny smiled at him. ” Yeah, but that wasn’t all bad. If it wasn’t for that, we never would have gotten together.”

“Well I might be keener to see the advantages if I hadn’t been injured as a side effect of the same operation. And I don’t think we’ll be having any repeat of last night or this morning for some time. Not when it hurts to even breathe.”

Sonny leaned forward and took Rafael’s hand in his own. “Yeah, I know, but it won’t be forever, and sex isn’t the only reason I’m with you. I can wait for that. I’m just glad to get you back safely. When I heard you’d been shot I was terrified. I had to ring Carmen to find out if you’d put the vest on or not. I had visions of you bleeding out on the dirty floor of that van and never seeing you again.”

Rafael’s face softened at the remembered fear he could see in Sonny’s face. “Yeah it was a bit too close. I’m so glad I put it on. A cracked rib is better than a bullet wound. It could have been worse.”

Sonny grinned. “I’ll remind you of that when you complain in the days ahead when you see your reflection in a mirror. It’ll take a while for the swelling of your nose to go down, and you’re definitely going to get two shiners from it. Your face will be multicolored for at least a month.”

“Great!” Rafael sighed disgustedly.

***

The next morning Sonny got to work late morning, having taken Rafael home from the hospital with Liv’s blessing. He left his patient on the sofa with all the remotes, a carafe of coffee and snacks, and was glad to escape the grumbling when he finally left.

Liv called him into her office as soon as he got in, and filled him in on the case. Both men had taken a plea deal and were being charged with first degree coercion and also hate crime, with a sentence of 10 years each. As they were pleading guilty, the computer files were being encrypted.

Sonny watched Liv open her safe and get out a sealed evidence bag. He recognized the envelope inside it as the one Rafael had been sent with the photos. He swallowed hard.

“These have only been seen by the tech who printed and processed them. They are no longer needed, so I thought I’d pass them to you. You can do whatever you want with them, and at least you will know their fate.”

Sonny nodded and held out a hand to take them. “Thanks Lieu. I appreciate it and I’m sure Rafael will do too.”

Liv smiled. “I gather Jack McCoy had a chat to you in the hospital. He says he is going to arrange some more shadowing for you next month and we will liaise on dates. You’ve certainly made a good impression on him. Does this mean you will be defecting to his office?”

He laughed. “Not at the moment, no. I’m happy being a detective for now, and just using my legal knowledge to help the cases we get. But it’s nice to keep my options open.”

“So how is Rafael? Knowing him I imagine he’s not a good patient.”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “Definitely not. I can’t blame him though as his face looks like it was run over by a bus, plus moving and even breathing hurts. I doubt anyone would be great company in the same circumstances.”

“Well if you need anything, just ask.”

“Thank Lieu.”


	11. Epilogue

** _Epilogue._ **

Six weeks later Rafael was late back home from work, but as was becoming usual, at least on the nights when Sonny left work before him, he was greeted by an enthusiastic lover and the delicious smell of home cooking. He kissed Sonny chastely before heading to his bedroom to change. He washed his face and studied the remaining yellow bruising around his nose. Once that was gone the damage wouldn’t be noticeable at all, as the doctor had done a good job of straightening his nose. His breathing was better, with only occasional twinges, and his other bruises had healed up too. Soon there would be no sign of what he had gone through. His doctor had officially signed him off today and he finally had the all clear to resume all normal activities.

Sonny had been a godsend during this time, not only waiting on him hand and foot at the start, bringing him food and drinks, but being endlessly cheerful and patient, even when he admitted he was being a nightmare to cope with.Their relationship had not had the best of starts, but this injury had proved to Rafael that Sonny could cope with whatever he threw at him, and was in it for the long haul. He was much more confident of their relationship and had no doubts that his decision to give them a chance was the right one.

One particular bugbear of Rafael’s was that in the last few weeks, Sonny had been adamant that there was no way they were having sex of any kind until he was fully healed. Admittedly he hadn’t felt like it in the first weeks of his recovery, but recently he hadn’t been able to think of anything else, especially when wrapped up with Sonny at night. He had tried everything to get Sonny to change his mind, but he had been very obstinate, even threatening to sleep at his own apartment if Rafael didn’t stop hassling him.

Tonight though, there was no more reason to wait. He had the medical clearance to prove he was healthy again, so he was not going to let his injuries be a reason for Sonny to say no any longer.

***

Sonny finished scattering the cheese over the casserole dish containing the chicken parmigiana, and put it under the grill. It would only take a few minutes and then it would be ready to serve. He took the heated plates out of the oven and put them on the table, also getting out the wine and salad from the fridge. This was fancier than he would normally cook mid-week, but he suspected they were celebrating. He knew Rafael had his check-up with the doctor today, and the lack of a grumpy mood indicated it had gone well. Sonny was pretty sure that this romantic meal would be followed by them making love into the night.

He had found the last six weeks difficult, but had vowed to himself that he would not do anything to exacerbate Rafael’s recovery, and that included having sex before he got the all clear. With his lover’s increasing libido and determination over the last couple of weeks, his willpower had been severely tried, with him nearly giving in a few times. But he had succeeded in sticking to his resolution. He knew that he wouldn’t be saying no tonight though, if there was no reason not to.

Rafael came out of the bedroom, smiling at Sonny and sitting at the kitchen counter. “Something smells nice,” he commented.

“Chicken parmigiana,” Sonny said. “My mom’s recipe.”

“Great,” said Rafael.

Sonny passed Rafael the bottle opener and waved him to the table before putting on oven gloves. He carefully took the bubbling dish out from under the grill and carried it to the table. Both men helped themselves to food and Rafael poured the wine.

There was minimal talking through the meal, both men eating heartily but also gazing into each other’s eyes as the anticipation rose between them. Both knew where this was heading.

After they had both finished eating, Sonny finally broke the silence.

“So, what did the doctor say?” he asked.

Rafael grinned. “I’m signed off as healthy, and fit for normal duties and activities. Before you ask, yes that includes sex.”

Sonny smiled. “I bet you didn’t actually ask him about sex.”

“Not in so many words, no, but it was implied.”

He watched Rafael walk up to him, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him down for a lingering kiss. Sonny responded immediately, groaning and melting into Rafael’s arms. He had missed this, and them having only one night together before Rafael had been injured had been hell. He couldn’t wait any longer.

Rafael pulled his mouth away to nibble down Sonny’s throat. “Can I take it that you’re not going to refuse me anymore?” he asked in a low voice.

“I’m all yours,” Sonny agreed, before starting to walk backwards, heading towards the bedroom. Rafael followed willingly, and they were soon stood by the bed. Sonny pulled off his T-shirt before unbuttoning the shirt Rafael was wearing, kissing down his chest, with a gentle kiss over the rib that had been cracked. He continued down, glancing up at Rafael to see him nod as his hands reached his waistband, and he undid the pants and pushed them down, caressing his ass as he pushed the material over it, and then pressing his lips to the straining erection distending the front of the briefs.

Sonny heard Rafael gasp, and breathed over the head, feeling the instinctive thrust of Rafael’s hips at the stimulation. Sonny had planned to tease his lover more, but in the end couldn’t keep it up, as he was feeling pretty desperate himself. He pulled down the underwear and immediately took Rafael’s cock into his mouth, holding the base steady to stop Rafael gagging him, and sucking as he swirled his tongue around and over the head, licking away the beads of pre-come that had gathered in the slit.

“Oh God Sonny, that feels so good,” Rafael gasped.

Sonny pulled away and pushed Rafael onto the bed, before stripping off his remaining clothing, and then lying on top of Rafael, supporting his weight with his arms, still not wanting to put too much pressure on his healing rib. He kissed Rafael passionately, letting the older man taste himself in his mouth, then pulled his head back to look in his eyes.

Rafael’s eyes were dilated and the lust on his face was easy to read.

“What do you want?” Sonny asked him.

“Fuck me,” Rafael replied without hesitation. “I’ve been thinking about it for weeks.”

Sonny smiled wryly. “Yeah, me too.” He grabbed a condom and the tube of lube from the top drawer and knelt between Rafael’s thighs, watching him move so he was open and exposed, before slicking up his fingers and using them to open his lover up.

*** 

Rafael gasped and arched against the bed as Sonny’s fingers brushed against his prostate. No matter how good his memory of their one night was, it didn’t compare to this, Sonny’s fingers inside him, making him ready so they could make love.

“Now Sonny, I’m ready,” he begged, watching Sonny’s face and seeing those beautiful blue eyes crinkle at the corners as his lover smiled at him.

“Still impatient I see,” he said.

“It’s been six weeks. I think that’s far too long to have to wait, so get on with it,” he insisted.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” commented Sonny.

Rafael snorted. “I hope not. I expect you to last a bit longer than this.”

Sonny glared at him as he reached for the condom, but Rafael noticed he squeezed hard around the base of his cock as he smoothed on the condom and lubed himself up.

Rafael hooked his legs around Sonny’s waist and used them to pull Sonny closer, and soon felt the hardness of his cock against his opening. He relaxed and let Sonny in, exhaling in relief as he felt the emptiness inside him being filled.

Sonny leaned forward, staying still for long seconds until Rafael got impatient and thrust his hips up in an effort to get Sonny to move. It worked, and Rafael moaned as he felt Sonny brush against his prostate.

“There, oh God, again,” he gasped out, and felt Sonny hit the same spot on each thrust in. Rafael speeded up his thrusts, pulling Sonny closer, feeling his muscles rippling and his hot breath over his face. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, even without being touched himself, and encouraged his lover on.

Rafael felt the surge as his orgasm peaked, and gasped out Sonny’s name as he spilled over their sweaty bodies.

“Come for me Sonny: I want to see you let go,” he encouraged as he relaxed onto the bed, all his limbs shaking in reaction. Sonny’s hips lost all rhythm as his breaths started to come in gasps, and suddenly he stilled, and Rafael watched his face as it contorted in pleasure.

Sonny pulled out and slumped down in the bed next to Rafael, who ran a trembling hand down the heaving come-covered chest of the younger man. Sonny swatted his hand away.

“Give me a minute and I’ll get us a cloth to clean up,” he said, still struggling to get his breath back.

“No worries, I can do it,” Rafael said. “You don’t need to run around after me anymore.” He suited the words to action, walking into the bathroom and running the tap before wetting a wash cloth and using it to clean himself and Sonny.

Sonny opened his eyes as he felt the tender touch and looked at him. “I know, but I like doing it. It’s what you do for someone you lo…care about,” he said, wincing as he realized what he had almost admitted.

Rafael felt his chest contract with emotion. “I love you too, Sonny,” he said, his voice cracking as he said it.

Sonny’s eyes widened. “I love you, Rafael, I have done for a while, but I thought it was too soon to say anything.”

Rafael pulled the bedclothes over them and then snuggled into Sonny’s arms. “Yeah, maybe. But we’ve known each other for a long time and with what we’ve been through, it has brought things into focus, for me at least. I know it’s how I feel. We’re right together.”

He watched the emotions cross Sonny’s face – love and tenderness being easy to spot – and felt at peace for the first time in years. Despite everything, they had found each other and weren’t letting each other go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read, commented and hit the kudos button. I really appreciate it. xx


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